Ode To A Father

I personally have wanted to write about Father's; my Father for a long time.  For reasons of my own, I felt I could not.  Fathers play a special role in a daughters life as I am supposing sons as well.  To have a father to not only watch out for me through the growing years, to also care to go the extra mile, not because he has to, because he wants to is the most comforting feeling in a girls world. I have said this before but with out my Dad in my life, I would not be able to smile, laugh or dance and dancing I LOVE.  He was not just a great role model, a man of his word and conviction, he really did teach me a thing or two about life.  He taught me about music, being a writer and most of my life wanting to pursue a writing career it meant a lot when we would sit back and listen to one of our favourites "The Eagles"  Listening to the lyrics of one of the biggest bands in the world brought out so much joy, thought and provoked a lot of beliefs in us-that prior were not there.  The lyrics and music taught us about life, something we both needed to listen and learn from-the great sounds of Don Henley.  It bonded us, brought on terrific conversations and the melody was trans inducing.  

We also use to watch The Rocky movies together, my Mother went away for a weekend trip, my Dad came home with Rocky movies all Five at that time, he walked in with Hamburger's and Donuts, as we watched movies all weekend-even got through them all.  Now thinking back, we were in our mid teens, what Dad would want to sit back and watch a bunch of movies with there teenaged kids?  Or what teen out there would sit inside a dusty old basement watching movies with there Dad for the majority of a summers weekend? 

My Dad was also my Karate sensei for some of my teen years, my friends tagged along waking up at 7am on Saterday's, getting on our Karate gear, some coming from hours away, to show support and also for the love of learning about martial arts.  He was a great instructor, his self defense portion was amazing as we all listened and learned with keeness and spry.  Those teachings especially has been in itself, a life saver for me many times, as these instincts that he taught came through for protection any time I have needed.  He also taught our girl guide group once a year CPR-first aid as he had his permit to do so.  These foundations that were cultavated through out the years not only saved me in many ways, also gave me an edge in life to fight instead of flight.

There was a patch my life where I was completley and ridiculously lost, it seemed at the time I would be or could be lost forever.  Lost in the sense of becoming almost permanently homeless, with no shelter, ways of food, just about left with nothing.  I was out at a coffee shop having a discussion with a counselor of sorts just shortly after this long stretch of oblivion.  She told me, "You are the Strongest woman I have ever met"  She went on "I don't know how you have got through and risen above all of this mess in your life"?  She carried on to say "I am not sure if it is your Dad's teachings and guidance or what it is"?  At the time this made me think, from where I just recently came, having no food or shelter, and the years of what led up to it meant a heck of alot to me, seeing that my esteem was at an all time low- Never knowing what would even become of me.

Knowing that I not only have a good foundation of steady boulders of rocks underneath my feet.  Along with the tools and know how to build higher beneath me- is the greatest gift I was ever given. There have been good and bad times in each of our lives, none which ever daggared our Father/Daughter relaionship.   

When I was in one of my many dumps, he told me he wished for me to dance, to always keep my hunger, that he hoped I would always have one door open if one door shuts and he wished that I would feel small standing on the shores of an ocean.  I can say that I do and have all of these things.  With him by my side is my greatest blessings.  No matter where we are, I still know that he resides in my heart along with his faith, courage and his protection.