One of my very favourite action movie there is a saying at the beginning which always stuck with me; written by Quinton Terrentino; starring Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette. I remember the beginning to this movie and always think of it in my darkest hours. Simply put "Sometimes it goes one way, sometimes just sometimes, it goes the other way too". I remember that very saying since I was Seventeen about to make my way into early adulthood. My Mother too always says, what goes up must come down and what goes down must come up...so with these and many other lessons in life; I grip to this knowledge and spirit though turbulent times, knowing this I have been able to steer my course always knowing that I am protected and if I reach out and know that to this there is good times just around the corner...then I can believe I can get through these times to allow the miracles to happen.
It was a very up and down week, I must say...we lost our precious cat and a few other blemishes. We though, did not become hasty...did not blame, create chaos, or choose unhealthy means of dealing with life. Both knowing, my husband and I, that it will be all clear winds, happy hearts and miracles in our journey. Learning these lessons together, both my partner and I-we have come to know a great deal about ourselves and Life. Life has obstacles, it does- I primarily use to thrive many years ago off of these obstacles until I turned them into something greater then myself. Turning them into a mountain so big that I felt it was swallowing me whole. Time and time again, I would pray, cleanse, regroup and the "Problem" was solved and either I learned something valuable about myself or Life as I knew it, grew from it-OR a miracle would occur...something so out of the ordinary that I would have to shake my head in disbelief. Thinking to myself..well, if I had not endured that part of my journey, then I never would have seen this, met this person, found this, believed this and so on. After the storm came clarity and an all knowing in the miracles of the Universe and a belief in me that if I went through one storm, I can certainly entail another...although did not go around wishing for crazy, hectic days...but became less fearful and more accepting that these days will pass.
My husband too I believe has a higher belief in so many things because of what his storms stirred in him and how he handled them, without the sinking feeling that he was being swallowed up. Instead he to, gained more insight, used his creativity and also began to see the magic and beauty of life when he too had miracles happen everyday.
When I let go of something, or when I have to adjust to a situation or problem solve...most times...I make a mental NOTE, yes and actual mental NOTE to the universe and to HIM...IN my mind I write out what my problem is...for example...
"This is my problem, I feel that I am stuck in my work place. I am not happy at my work this is how I feel about it, it makes me feel _____________ I need help with this, I am giving this problem to you GOD, I do not know how to deal with it YOU DO..Please take care of this for me." TY..TY..TY
So yes, I write a note say whatever I need to say...crumple it UP and mentally vision that I am throwing it in the air, I picture the WORLD in a globe sense and leave it to the GODS to take care of for me. I have done this for more then TEN years...and every time...THINGS LOOK sooo different the next day...Either, my issue was taken care of, or I learned how to handle a situation better...there was an answer for me...or the problem ultimatly vanished..and Many, Many times a miracle would occur. For me it was such a great release, as soon as I threw the crumpled up note upstairs...I did not think, worry, fret or become dismayed. Something would soon take place that nipped the turbulence in the bud and I saw the light of day.
There are miracles everyday and you better believe they will definatly happen to you, no one is exempted from miracles. A simple phone conversation with a loved one can give you such a Grand idea and the wheels spin you into a new direction, with a new outlook. You could meet someone someday, and they serve meaning in your life. Something in everyday there is a miracle. So maybe not everyday is a theme park day, not every day is a circus day..BUT not every day is a JUNGLE either.
There is something good in everyday. Today I called a dear friend, we had a conversation and she told me about her many miracles...That very light brought me to a very FINE day, full of life, light and energy. With one single phone call, any turbulence lingering was vanished...IT became such a day of LOVE and many blessing and YES of course miracles! One lady, talking of her ventures and happiness, led me to have a day that was full of everyday miracles and everyday blessings. BELIEVE!
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Saturday 15 November 2014
Thursday 13 November 2014
My Parents Had to Let Me Go-So That I Could Look UP!
I have very loving Parents, have very loving Aunts and a Brother like no other. I was Falling, cracking through the surface for many years. My Family was torn when they learned about me having a chemical imbalance. You may have read, I was 21 dropped out of higher education twice, hospitalized, going from job to job only lasting at most 2 years. I went to group counseling, and individual counseling- My Loving parents also went to group counseling in order to help them help me and in the processes help themselves.
Still though, I had all the help in the world. Doctors were supportive, my Family always there to pick up the phone, pick up the pieces, talk me through things almost every single day. I still worked...ended up taking two courses in which I did finish, trying to stay on track with the medication cost was overwhelming. I needed a really good education in order to pay this fee every month. Still though, I was clearly not healthy. I was then 25 and drinking, binge drinking off and on. Some years, I wouldn't touch it, I was sensitive to it, three drinks and it would throw my nervous system way off and mixing medication with that is just a terrible idea. Through the years though, my Family, Brother, Aunts, Mother, Father were always there for sound advise, fix my troubles-take care of all that was haywire in my life, over and over...They knew after far to long that they just had to STOP saving me, rescuing me from sometimes dangerous situations. AND letting go, was far harder on them then it was for me.
I wanted them to let go, I knew deep down just as much as they did, this pattern we created was not working. So being 33 years old, they all stopped! They had to and I knew it! Although we would still talk to each other, they were not going to jump in their car, racing to every pitfall and slip that I endured. So with them letting me GO...THE ONLY WAY TO LOOK WAS UP! My father told me for years, your crises and your misgivings will build character. Which I thought..Great, I would love to have some character. AND yes, I would love to LOOK UP!
I was use to falling into a whole, but someone was always there to reach for me. So Proudly, I say they let me sink further and further. They had to watch me sink, not guide me up. In this I learned again Proudly, to stand on my own, my VERY OWN! I ended up with NOTHING, not a dime, not a house, everything GONE. We still talked, almost everyday, they just simply asked "How are you doing" NO advise, no should haves or would haves...Just I Love you, be safe!
So now, years later...I must say, although a late start in adulthood and independence, I am better for it. I now am able to say freely, I take care of myself...Rent is always paid, bills are always paid, I have a fun and interesting career that I get a lot of fulfillment from, I met and fell in love with my Partner, We have a happy home with great neighbours- To this I say Finally...My Partner too has a thriving and very fun career...both of us in the arts. I have close ties with my family, near or far...I am not shy or awkward in social settings. When I met my husband I could not even go sit in a restaurant with out feeling ashamed or a sense of discomfort, now I am able, effortlessly-I have many things that I always wanted.
There are so many things I overcame, battles I had to fight, things I had to learn about myself and the world around me. With my Parents and family LETTING GO of my hand, letting me slip through the cracks, I got over many wounds, healed, began to be able to laugh again; even at myself...I was not afraid any longer...!! I learned to be comfortable in my own skin.
Building up from which I fell was the fun part...everyday learning something new about what makes me "tick". Now with a loving family who I am not a burden to, but a contributing part of the whole, they do not have to feel guilty, feel that they have to run to my rescue, they too have overcome their fear of letting me run my course. Them doing that simple act I was able TO BE present, clear, able, sound, full of life and energy....love and FINALLY HAPPY, CONTENT, STRENGTHENED, COMPASSIONATE, and INDEPENDENT...Letting me go, giving me a chance to breath on my own...WAS the best decision WE made consciously as WE knew it would NOT work any other way. Now there visits are frequent, are talks are fun and light hearted, I am there for them, but no one is a rescuer for each other. We show love, give hugs, and stay in touch. They are most likely very HAPPY that I have hit my last sink hole and I know very thrilled that I have a partner who is just as happy as me. We now have a family, with our first arrival in May, a place to call HOME, and family who is able to enjoy our happiness, and love for one another. Thank YOU to my family, for knowing WHEN to let me fall. They did not just teach me and guide me how to live...THEY let me LIVE! xoxo
I believe it was the late Robyn Williams who said...When nothing else works, whats left is what is RIGHT!
Still though, I had all the help in the world. Doctors were supportive, my Family always there to pick up the phone, pick up the pieces, talk me through things almost every single day. I still worked...ended up taking two courses in which I did finish, trying to stay on track with the medication cost was overwhelming. I needed a really good education in order to pay this fee every month. Still though, I was clearly not healthy. I was then 25 and drinking, binge drinking off and on. Some years, I wouldn't touch it, I was sensitive to it, three drinks and it would throw my nervous system way off and mixing medication with that is just a terrible idea. Through the years though, my Family, Brother, Aunts, Mother, Father were always there for sound advise, fix my troubles-take care of all that was haywire in my life, over and over...They knew after far to long that they just had to STOP saving me, rescuing me from sometimes dangerous situations. AND letting go, was far harder on them then it was for me.
I wanted them to let go, I knew deep down just as much as they did, this pattern we created was not working. So being 33 years old, they all stopped! They had to and I knew it! Although we would still talk to each other, they were not going to jump in their car, racing to every pitfall and slip that I endured. So with them letting me GO...THE ONLY WAY TO LOOK WAS UP! My father told me for years, your crises and your misgivings will build character. Which I thought..Great, I would love to have some character. AND yes, I would love to LOOK UP!
I was use to falling into a whole, but someone was always there to reach for me. So Proudly, I say they let me sink further and further. They had to watch me sink, not guide me up. In this I learned again Proudly, to stand on my own, my VERY OWN! I ended up with NOTHING, not a dime, not a house, everything GONE. We still talked, almost everyday, they just simply asked "How are you doing" NO advise, no should haves or would haves...Just I Love you, be safe!
So now, years later...I must say, although a late start in adulthood and independence, I am better for it. I now am able to say freely, I take care of myself...Rent is always paid, bills are always paid, I have a fun and interesting career that I get a lot of fulfillment from, I met and fell in love with my Partner, We have a happy home with great neighbours- To this I say Finally...My Partner too has a thriving and very fun career...both of us in the arts. I have close ties with my family, near or far...I am not shy or awkward in social settings. When I met my husband I could not even go sit in a restaurant with out feeling ashamed or a sense of discomfort, now I am able, effortlessly-I have many things that I always wanted.
There are so many things I overcame, battles I had to fight, things I had to learn about myself and the world around me. With my Parents and family LETTING GO of my hand, letting me slip through the cracks, I got over many wounds, healed, began to be able to laugh again; even at myself...I was not afraid any longer...!! I learned to be comfortable in my own skin.
Building up from which I fell was the fun part...everyday learning something new about what makes me "tick". Now with a loving family who I am not a burden to, but a contributing part of the whole, they do not have to feel guilty, feel that they have to run to my rescue, they too have overcome their fear of letting me run my course. Them doing that simple act I was able TO BE present, clear, able, sound, full of life and energy....love and FINALLY HAPPY, CONTENT, STRENGTHENED, COMPASSIONATE, and INDEPENDENT...Letting me go, giving me a chance to breath on my own...WAS the best decision WE made consciously as WE knew it would NOT work any other way. Now there visits are frequent, are talks are fun and light hearted, I am there for them, but no one is a rescuer for each other. We show love, give hugs, and stay in touch. They are most likely very HAPPY that I have hit my last sink hole and I know very thrilled that I have a partner who is just as happy as me. We now have a family, with our first arrival in May, a place to call HOME, and family who is able to enjoy our happiness, and love for one another. Thank YOU to my family, for knowing WHEN to let me fall. They did not just teach me and guide me how to live...THEY let me LIVE! xoxo
I believe it was the late Robyn Williams who said...When nothing else works, whats left is what is RIGHT!
Tuesday 11 November 2014
Reflection in a Day- NOVEMBER 11th
Days come and days go, we do the best we can. Some days we challenge ourselves to the suns glow trying to get over humps and bumps-lucky to only come out with a tiny scratch...and GOOD on US! Some days are easy, you sail by them like the blowing wind. Some days, you wake up and simply put; it is not what you bargained for. You can go to sleep gently the night before-Thanking and being thankful to the Heavens above and wake up to a down poor of either gentle rain and stormy weather.
For the last week, I took a pause-which I rarely do. I never was one to think back on my journey to much growing up...just went with it, went for it, moving faster and faster everyday-People would say SLOW DOWN you are always in a rush...and I was...Until I learned the sense of solitude, rest and reflection.
I lay my head at night, each and every night, talking out loud YES outloud to my God, My Husband and Partner always asking-who are you talking to, I say HIM or My Nanny whom I know is my guardian angel..others who have passed, but I still do feel such a connection and do continue with the relationship even after this life has parted us...They have always seen me through and I know always will...personally I begin by being thankful...for the loves in my life, the love I can generate for myself from within, with HIM who has showed me how to love myself. I pray for the things I feel are needed either with our lives, or others whom have touched me, and always my family and if it was a "bad" day-term used very lightly because as I said days come and days go... I Lay there talking away to HIM for hours...and then reflect on my days beginning, middle and end. In this there is peace, harmony and love I feel surrounding me always.
Today was not a great start to November 11th and how can it be a good day, when you YES feel proud of our country, stand by our soldiers, those who HAD to fight for whatever reason that there culture or our culture needed them to. Today on November 11th we woke up to our very old Cat ruby, who lived with us a long time passing away as well. I looked at her struggle in the end and it shook me. Seeing her fight for her life as I saw she was deteriorating broke our hearts as we woke up this morning and not only said Goodbye to our family member our Cat, but also to the soldiers, from whatever part of the Globe you come from...IT is not easy on any one of them or us-however you like to see it. What I am proud of is our country, we are quietly proud, with a conviction for life and love like no other. We enjoy our peace, the allowance to live each day as they go by in any which way we want for ourselves.
I allowed myself breathing room for the last week, a tranquil moment for myself and my family at home. Living the days, not working-searching for my next big hit, but reflecting on my journey-personally...WITHIN this there is growth, a sense of wonderment, putting pieces of your life or mine in order, to become at peace with all that you are and all that is human is a grieving process as well as a growing process. Knowing that in my reflections I not only think critically about how the day started and how it ended...is a process in my journey. Today as it was a sad Day this Rememberance Day and as we put our cat to rest. I had to fight through the day, to make me ONE again, whole again...Peaceful again.
I ate, did what I needed to do, errands, life things....Then we rested, nurtured ourselves, my partner in his ways and me in mine. We slept, rejouvenated, recharged. It is the end of a year in a few short months a time for reflection, to make you better thus in the end the world better. The tranquility and peace I found this last week, was challenging....People sometimes challenge your peaceful nature...sometimes challenge your love of life...the way you live it, your own beliefs. I took it in stride and from waking up in tears, to gathering my thoughts and heart and mind...I was able to RELIFT my soul! NO doctor, nurse or caregiver can give you as much strength for the challenging days as you can yourself. We are all in it together...Sure I vow peace each and everytime...BUT when challenged by this life, I will honour myself, my nature, who I am...who HE intends for me to be, for the ANGELS walking with me, pushing me to go further and further along. TO BE ME...Reflection is my form of understanding ME in this world, when there still is War's being faught, still soldiers standing up, having to leave their homes and families a luxury that we have and know nothing what it is like....
I only know my journey, am PROUD to say I know myself and do love myself...love our country and our world. There is a part of a soldier in each and everyone of us to get up and do it each and everyday. Some who are fighting for there lives because of sickness...Be glad for the glowing Sun, even if the rain poors down days later...Be glad for the snow, making us stronger survivors in this world. Be Brave enough to stand up for WHO you are, WHO HE wanted and intended you to be and don't say sorry to anyone who challenges your charactor- only HE knows what battles you are fighting and what fires you blow out daily just to live in peace. Be reflective on your journey, Learning all the time, new ways to BE, LOVE and CHERISH.
Be peaceful all the time, be loving all the time-IF you speak your truth then you have done know wrong.
See you Soon Ruby you gentle and precious soul...See you soon to the soldiers who faught for US to be peaceful and free...and See you sometime- to all the angels watching over us, giving us hope, love and a gentle knowing that you are all there for us in each and every way ALWAYS..Good night to our soldiers who are still fighting, Sleep well to the ones who are fighting for their lives. IN this days reflection, I say Thank YOU!
For the last week, I took a pause-which I rarely do. I never was one to think back on my journey to much growing up...just went with it, went for it, moving faster and faster everyday-People would say SLOW DOWN you are always in a rush...and I was...Until I learned the sense of solitude, rest and reflection.
I lay my head at night, each and every night, talking out loud YES outloud to my God, My Husband and Partner always asking-who are you talking to, I say HIM or My Nanny whom I know is my guardian angel..others who have passed, but I still do feel such a connection and do continue with the relationship even after this life has parted us...They have always seen me through and I know always will...personally I begin by being thankful...for the loves in my life, the love I can generate for myself from within, with HIM who has showed me how to love myself. I pray for the things I feel are needed either with our lives, or others whom have touched me, and always my family and if it was a "bad" day-term used very lightly because as I said days come and days go... I Lay there talking away to HIM for hours...and then reflect on my days beginning, middle and end. In this there is peace, harmony and love I feel surrounding me always.
Today was not a great start to November 11th and how can it be a good day, when you YES feel proud of our country, stand by our soldiers, those who HAD to fight for whatever reason that there culture or our culture needed them to. Today on November 11th we woke up to our very old Cat ruby, who lived with us a long time passing away as well. I looked at her struggle in the end and it shook me. Seeing her fight for her life as I saw she was deteriorating broke our hearts as we woke up this morning and not only said Goodbye to our family member our Cat, but also to the soldiers, from whatever part of the Globe you come from...IT is not easy on any one of them or us-however you like to see it. What I am proud of is our country, we are quietly proud, with a conviction for life and love like no other. We enjoy our peace, the allowance to live each day as they go by in any which way we want for ourselves.
I allowed myself breathing room for the last week, a tranquil moment for myself and my family at home. Living the days, not working-searching for my next big hit, but reflecting on my journey-personally...WITHIN this there is growth, a sense of wonderment, putting pieces of your life or mine in order, to become at peace with all that you are and all that is human is a grieving process as well as a growing process. Knowing that in my reflections I not only think critically about how the day started and how it ended...is a process in my journey. Today as it was a sad Day this Rememberance Day and as we put our cat to rest. I had to fight through the day, to make me ONE again, whole again...Peaceful again.
I ate, did what I needed to do, errands, life things....Then we rested, nurtured ourselves, my partner in his ways and me in mine. We slept, rejouvenated, recharged. It is the end of a year in a few short months a time for reflection, to make you better thus in the end the world better. The tranquility and peace I found this last week, was challenging....People sometimes challenge your peaceful nature...sometimes challenge your love of life...the way you live it, your own beliefs. I took it in stride and from waking up in tears, to gathering my thoughts and heart and mind...I was able to RELIFT my soul! NO doctor, nurse or caregiver can give you as much strength for the challenging days as you can yourself. We are all in it together...Sure I vow peace each and everytime...BUT when challenged by this life, I will honour myself, my nature, who I am...who HE intends for me to be, for the ANGELS walking with me, pushing me to go further and further along. TO BE ME...Reflection is my form of understanding ME in this world, when there still is War's being faught, still soldiers standing up, having to leave their homes and families a luxury that we have and know nothing what it is like....
I only know my journey, am PROUD to say I know myself and do love myself...love our country and our world. There is a part of a soldier in each and everyone of us to get up and do it each and everyday. Some who are fighting for there lives because of sickness...Be glad for the glowing Sun, even if the rain poors down days later...Be glad for the snow, making us stronger survivors in this world. Be Brave enough to stand up for WHO you are, WHO HE wanted and intended you to be and don't say sorry to anyone who challenges your charactor- only HE knows what battles you are fighting and what fires you blow out daily just to live in peace. Be reflective on your journey, Learning all the time, new ways to BE, LOVE and CHERISH.
Be peaceful all the time, be loving all the time-IF you speak your truth then you have done know wrong.
See you Soon Ruby you gentle and precious soul...See you soon to the soldiers who faught for US to be peaceful and free...and See you sometime- to all the angels watching over us, giving us hope, love and a gentle knowing that you are all there for us in each and every way ALWAYS..Good night to our soldiers who are still fighting, Sleep well to the ones who are fighting for their lives. IN this days reflection, I say Thank YOU!
Sunday 9 November 2014
Fill the Void of Your Inner Rainbow
You see it all the time, and I use to be there and one of them too. When someone feels there is a void to be filled, he or she may TRY to fill that void using the only method they know how. There are many reasons one feels a little empty. Basically, they-He or She are off balance, something in their life may not be what they envisioned for themselves, maybe they have a crucial schedual to keep up with and the only down time would be to fill that feeling of unbalance until they're filled up. How long does that "quick fix" generally last though? Filling a void could be many things, it could be costly, IE: running to the quickest clothing apparel shop for what they call "Shop Therapy". That was my void filler, I had so many clothes for so many years, some with tags on and the clothes never worn. Every week, I would hit the shops and call it Shop Therapy for years. I don't do that anymore..I now have learned over time to LOOK WITHIN, find what will fill me up, either creatively, musically, socially, or other. It feels great at first when you fill that cup in a quick sense, the next day though-the void is still remaining.
Balance, how do we achieve a balance of health, social, rest/relaxation, fun and work to continue without having to chase a rainbow-Instead finding the rainbow within-with many pots of golds and treasures? Fill that void by looking within-rather then outside forces. Some people too, just feel a great need or desire to obtain the next great buy, or any other means to fill the emptiness inside. The trick of the quick fix leaves you right at square one. So with a balance, of health-eating right-excersise, spirituality/positivity, being social, resting and relaxation. Once those needs are filled-then we can begin to look within. Separate you needs from your wants; someone taught me that and I practiced it regularly. So instead of going out and buying the most fancy dress boots, I began to look at my strengths more and more, in order to develop my even flow of independence, positivity, spirituality, rest, fun etc. I didn't have to run to the closest store to get my fix.
In saying that, don't deny yourself little luxuries, we all like them and yes they are needed as well, but within that there is balance. One way to fill up, is to find out what your good or even great at! If you don't know, think again of your likes and dislikes-if you enjoy reading, singing, dancing-could be anything. Do that more and more often of the things you like-take time for yourself and allow yourself to do these "likes" and you will be filling yourself up with the colours of the rainbow!! If your are just NOT happy...in life, where you are, what your doing...Change it, step by step; allow yourself the freedom to choose what LIFE you want. If you are taking a course, or subject and you just feel miserable while trying to learn the ins and outs of that course...That can be changed too! Take something more you..maybe auto mechanics, anything that will make you want to JUMP out of bed to start the day. IF you are unhappy, own those feelings...accept it, you don't have to pick up and move to Idaho...Just start with knowing what is not working in your life-instead of fixing it with a new purchase, or anything else that is a void filler in your life.
There are so many things to do and be doing-that really don't cost an arm and a leg. It took me a while to realize I have more fun hiking through trails and taking pictures then I have when I buy some random item come home where it-spill something on it, tear it by mistake...just to go out and do it again. I use to wake up everyday, thinking...hmmm..what purchase can I make today...??? I did that for a very long time. Until again I learned about ME, what I liked to do, what made me happy and I chose day in and day out to be happy everyday. Sure there was work-it did not come overnight. Now, once my needs are met, health etc...With a proper balance, now I decide how I want to spend time. I had to be learn to be alone and like the feeling of me in my own space, in order to recharge on my own terms, without being caught in a void trap. Find out what your void is, what YOU REALLY WANT...think...:IS this brand new pair of boots etc...REALLY going to be the be all and end all to make my life complete"?? Then think-"What will make my life complete"? Once you have the balance down, simple pleasures come easily...your void is filled before you step out the door. You do wake up HAPPY ready to enjoy the pleasures and even challenges of the day.
If your caught in a spiral of life with no balance, no nurturing of thyself, no feelings-just going through the motions....Think to yourself...What do YOU really want..?? Is it that fancy car that will make yourself feel filled FOREVER...Is that Car or House going to make a happy home all the time or the car a happy commute all the time...?? Think of yourself as that Car or House, how would you maintain it to fill it up with love and care, with balance in order to be a happy home or car? Put as much love and devotion into yourself as you would your job/career, relationships, material items. It may take time, to fill the void on your own terms, with your likes while creating balance! Filling the void of your Inner Rainbow is MUCH, I will say it again MUCH more gratifying then going in circles chasing the pot of Gold-When there is a GOLD RUSH within each and every one of US within our heart of hearts, YES the POT of GOLD is filled with so many treasures, right within YOU...no outside force can create more JOY and long lasting happiness then knowing within there is a rainbow so big right inside of you.
Balance, how do we achieve a balance of health, social, rest/relaxation, fun and work to continue without having to chase a rainbow-Instead finding the rainbow within-with many pots of golds and treasures? Fill that void by looking within-rather then outside forces. Some people too, just feel a great need or desire to obtain the next great buy, or any other means to fill the emptiness inside. The trick of the quick fix leaves you right at square one. So with a balance, of health-eating right-excersise, spirituality/positivity, being social, resting and relaxation. Once those needs are filled-then we can begin to look within. Separate you needs from your wants; someone taught me that and I practiced it regularly. So instead of going out and buying the most fancy dress boots, I began to look at my strengths more and more, in order to develop my even flow of independence, positivity, spirituality, rest, fun etc. I didn't have to run to the closest store to get my fix.
In saying that, don't deny yourself little luxuries, we all like them and yes they are needed as well, but within that there is balance. One way to fill up, is to find out what your good or even great at! If you don't know, think again of your likes and dislikes-if you enjoy reading, singing, dancing-could be anything. Do that more and more often of the things you like-take time for yourself and allow yourself to do these "likes" and you will be filling yourself up with the colours of the rainbow!! If your are just NOT happy...in life, where you are, what your doing...Change it, step by step; allow yourself the freedom to choose what LIFE you want. If you are taking a course, or subject and you just feel miserable while trying to learn the ins and outs of that course...That can be changed too! Take something more you..maybe auto mechanics, anything that will make you want to JUMP out of bed to start the day. IF you are unhappy, own those feelings...accept it, you don't have to pick up and move to Idaho...Just start with knowing what is not working in your life-instead of fixing it with a new purchase, or anything else that is a void filler in your life.
There are so many things to do and be doing-that really don't cost an arm and a leg. It took me a while to realize I have more fun hiking through trails and taking pictures then I have when I buy some random item come home where it-spill something on it, tear it by mistake...just to go out and do it again. I use to wake up everyday, thinking...hmmm..what purchase can I make today...??? I did that for a very long time. Until again I learned about ME, what I liked to do, what made me happy and I chose day in and day out to be happy everyday. Sure there was work-it did not come overnight. Now, once my needs are met, health etc...With a proper balance, now I decide how I want to spend time. I had to be learn to be alone and like the feeling of me in my own space, in order to recharge on my own terms, without being caught in a void trap. Find out what your void is, what YOU REALLY WANT...think...:IS this brand new pair of boots etc...REALLY going to be the be all and end all to make my life complete"?? Then think-"What will make my life complete"? Once you have the balance down, simple pleasures come easily...your void is filled before you step out the door. You do wake up HAPPY ready to enjoy the pleasures and even challenges of the day.
If your caught in a spiral of life with no balance, no nurturing of thyself, no feelings-just going through the motions....Think to yourself...What do YOU really want..?? Is it that fancy car that will make yourself feel filled FOREVER...Is that Car or House going to make a happy home all the time or the car a happy commute all the time...?? Think of yourself as that Car or House, how would you maintain it to fill it up with love and care, with balance in order to be a happy home or car? Put as much love and devotion into yourself as you would your job/career, relationships, material items. It may take time, to fill the void on your own terms, with your likes while creating balance! Filling the void of your Inner Rainbow is MUCH, I will say it again MUCH more gratifying then going in circles chasing the pot of Gold-When there is a GOLD RUSH within each and every one of US within our heart of hearts, YES the POT of GOLD is filled with so many treasures, right within YOU...no outside force can create more JOY and long lasting happiness then knowing within there is a rainbow so big right inside of you.
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