Bipolar was the reason to fuel my passions in life, challenging myself to overcome, was a pursuit that steered my ship. I had to put myself first and by no means let anything come between me and my recovery. My spirituality became important, my well being became of primary importance, where nothing else mattered but my recovery. I was drawn to learning how to over come and perhaps even succeed in life. I did not like being sick, manic or depressed. I hated the numb-feeling to me nothing was worse then that. The anxieties were minor hurdles and a mechanism that I drew great strength in over coming. I have abolished the bipolar within me through many years that I educated myself, and I became aware. My confidence then grew and I lived life on purpose.
Though, the stereotype of having a mental illness continues and sadly so. It is very limiting to have the idea that those that have been inflicted with these health concerns are not viable parts of society, that they can not be mothers or fathers, that they can not work and endure gainful employment, that they are less then in anyway. I did not give up on my pursuit to healthy habits and over coming these adversities to be thought in those terms. It took time, patience and dedication. To stereotype on these matters to me is a narrow perceptions of humanity. I believe in the strength of character when someone has lead a life full of adversity, then to develop and become empowered from that-to me that is humbly courageous. I tend to think very highly of people that have suffered any amount of trauma, with the stakes high, they still succeed. High five to the survivors.
I ran up to an obstacle in my family life recently. Looking back, I feel the best partnerships are made from some sort of adversity. Where partnerships can truly develop growth, building character within the marriage unit. This character I believe is essential in moving away from any hardships and flaws within the trusted relationship. To address any stagnation within the marriage core to then become more loving, accepting and more tenderness, I believe is what my God wants from me.
The reason to divulge any amount of my hardships and my former struggles of mental health to anyone was to reach out. Reaching out purely, hoping that one day, if I do need a friend, that maybe they can be there for me, in my time of need. The sole reason to disclose to anyone in my circles about my personal struggles, was never to have a heated debate on my pitfalls, to be gossiped about, discussing the natures of my levels of functioning, if I am FIT, well or ready for a crash. It is for the simple measure of hoping to find a friend, who may offer any amount of strength, maybe some hope, maybe one day. This personal disclosure of my illness has caused-instead of closeness and friendships a sad, heated debate about the stereotypes that seem to ride along with mental illness. Through my disclosure I immediately thought that It would be reciprocated with kind consideration and tenderness, understanding and fairness. Trump like; I was forced into the centre of a discrimination debate regarding my mental health state and stability. These Trump figures spoke of how unhealthy my mind was or wasn't, how well I was or wasn't, even to blame my recent career success on my illness "Being on a high and ready to crash and burn" These insensitives even went to the lengths to inform others of my highs and lows from past struggles.
I was unaware sadly for years that these stereotypes were riding along with me, as when I look in the mirror, I see me, a mother, a wife, a lover, a voice, a creative, strength, a person that overcomes, who can now ride the waves, a person of courage and victory. If only in my struggles with my illness, I have been victorious! Though unaware of the stereotypes and discriminations that seem to have been hitching a ride. The feelings that this stirs, even though survived and recovered are feelings of more determination, more strength and more courage to possibly be an aid in abolishing these stereotypes, further. I can not expect people to understand, but can expect to be treated like anyone else that looks at themselves in the mirror everyday, sometimes that in itself is victorious enough.
