Saturday, 26 July 2014

How Do You Know When It Is Time to Move On?

The first Year my Husband and I lived together in our apartment it was great, time really did just seem to flow by.  We really never knew if we would ever leave where we lived, we talked about it here and there- there was always something in the way blocking us.  Not the right price, the right location, the right timing and of course having to be able to let go completely, from where we are to where we want to be.

We have lived in very small quarters for some time now.  We started accumulating great things, furniture, lamps, pictures to hang on the wall-we loved our place, love still our time together though now have to think to ourself?  If we do not make a move now, will we ever?  We looked at places before, some not our style, some out of our reach, until now we collectively and completley feel that we are finally ready to let go and move forward.

Some people say, "Oh moving is merely a magical geographical cure".  Sure there will always be issues, although we tend to work through issues together willingly, we now know it is time to move ahead and on with our lives.

We love the town we live in and are actually very successful here and both thriving!  Me with my books and my awesome partner with his remarkable art.  We have met some very sweet, caring and encouraging people.  We had to be sure on what we wanted.  ONE, we want to be close to his Mother and Father as they are an incredible part of our lives, along with his Brother and Wife.  We know what we can afford and what kind of place we are looking for.  We had to be ready to just say "Well it is either move forward, onward and upward-or stay stagnent".

How do you get ready to move freely in a spiritual sense?  One of you may not be ready to move on, one may find this great location and is ready to jump full on in.  In the end it has to suit you both, both your needs and wants and desires.  You have to be willing and ready to say goodbye to a place you called home, have memories of, have neighbours you have to be ready to say goodbye to.  They too have to "I believe" be ready to let go and say goodbye to you.

This was a fantastic place that we called home for a long time, we watched numerous hockey games cheering for our team the first couple years.  Last winter, we hardly got excited about our favourite team The Leafs even if they were winning.  Where prior we would cheer win, loose our draw!  We were becoming stagnant, although making leaps in our career we decided it was time to have more for us, something bigger, something different, something that suited both of us.  My husband is devuldged in his art and really has no place to paint and create-although his pieces of art are out of this world-extaordinary, he needs a place to have for himself just for him to create his great masterpieces.  As well, I feel stuck in a corner and being a writer, the juices just haven't been flowing through the finger tips as they once did.  When we first came here, I wrote fourteen books, my husband doing the illustrations.  Now, feeling stuck and not in a frame or position to write, I too need something spacious to continue with my career.

We have had good days and bad days.  WE had to think to ourselves, can I come home to this place for another winter or even year or to readily move on?  It really does have to work for both parties or all parties involved; all ready to put the past behind and say hello to something new, something that will help you blossom and flourish being ready for the unknown. 

You may hear too, people say; "Oh why do you want to move" etc, remember this is your choice, only you know how you feel in the place you call home, only you know how you feel amongst that energy and vibration that you are surrounded by. 

We were not frantically looking for a place, we knew if it was meant to be, given the oportunity at the right time, knowing timing is everything, then it would happen!  You just have to say, well here we go, here we grow, hold your breath, hold hands and make that leap into a new chapter! 

No one knows exactly what the next day holds, of course we know that  "YES" we have to go to work, or have to go to school, or have to watch the kids, etc.  What if for a full year, everyday on your travels to your place of employment you got a flat tire, "how long would it take for you to choose either an alternate route or a different job".  Some people may put up with it for a little while, but when it is time you know-in this case your flat tire knows.

What we initially had to do was to listen to our primal gut instinct, while keeping our options open!  Every place comes with there share of challenges.  Knowing that nothing is, or ever will be perfect, listening to our heart of hearts, trusting our gut instinct and intuition-that is when you know it is time to move forward. While letting go of the past and to just get on with it!

You can be wanting to move on from a relationship, leaving home to go off to College, moving in with a friend, wanting to have a baby, taking a subject that interests you, or choosing a career.  Take your time if you are choosing whatever path you would like to take; rash decisions never turn out for the good.  Think, what will I gain spiritually, emotionally, economically or even physically.  If you are gaining in all these areas, then that too is when you know it is time to move ahead, the universe will take it upon  itself and make it happen, just in the right order,  timing and place!

I had to turn down an amazing oportunity last week.  It would have been a great oportunity for me.  I turned it down for reasons of my own, timing really essentially.  Now I am on the cusp of moving in a few short months.  If I had agreed to the oportunity at hand, there would have been way to many demands on my plate with a moving coming up shortly, I wouldn't be able to move forward.  Everything has to sit right in your stomach, trusting that we are "protected" and allowing ourselves to say goodbye to a place you once called HOME! 

You will know by your thoughts, beliefs and feelings that this is either the time to move ahead or a time to sit on it for a few more months.  Learn to become aware of your thoughts, beliefs and feelings when deciding on a change.  Let the universe guide you towards the right path, circumstance and place.  The universe is never wrong, so if it is meant to be, plain and simple it will be!   It may not always be easy, things may come up that you were not prepared for, just know that the Universe is guiding you in ways you will never know, most likely to the greatness that you hold within! 

Think of it this way....You wouldn't want to wear the same jeans or skirt that you once wore in Grade 11, being that you have grown from that phase of your life....It most likely wouldn't suit or even fit you.  The same is true for your environment, sometimes your place just doesn't suit or FIT you any longer- In that case; get your boxes ready, and look forward to that new place, just as you would a new pair of shoes, get excited to wear that new fitting pair of shoes that just knocks your socks off!

If the shoe fits; you wear it, when they wear out, you find a new pair!  Some shoes last a lifetime, some for only a season and some for just a few years, dare to wear a new and exciting pair of shoes when the timing is right, spiritually, emotionally and physically and economically-GOOD LUCK!  xxoo

Thursday, 24 July 2014

How I Shed 60 lbs Using Nature as My Guide

If you saw me Two, Three or even Six years ago you would not recognise me.  I went up and down in weight over the years, fluctuating from a size 22 now down to a size 9; I did it using the nature that surrounds us all to help me.

It was almost as if nature was calling.  I worked since the young age of 11.  I did everything from waitressing, to tending cash, esthetics, caregiver-you name it.  Going non stop really from activity to work, to home to school, it was all I could take.  Being put on medication for my mental illness at the young age of 21 although I was somewhat active, I could never loose the weight.  My highest weight like I said was a size 22.  I couldn't believe it, the once size 13 turned into a size 22 almost over night.

I must say that I was not healthy at all, not by any means.  I was struggling with stress issues, work and an upsetting home life.  Finally nature called!  I decided to take the summer off, relax, only do truly what I and I alone wanted to do.  I remained positive had a positive outlook but needed more then just a healthy mind to sustain a weight that I would be happy with.  I told my husband the summer of 2013 "I am not doing anything this summer"  I needed time to digest, time to heal after years prior of turmoil and mental unstability.  He said "GO FOR IT" and backed me up 100%. 

In 2007 I quit sugar all together.  It was Thanksgiving and I was literally stuffed.  I vowed to never use sugar in my coffee again.  I was drinking atleast 9-13 coffees a day loaded with sugar.  I got the hang of no sugar, but still although smaller I was still unhappy with my weight.  After a year or two of the no sugar rule in coffee or tea, I went down to my regular size being size 13.  To me that size was me, I felt great being that weight.  I was curvy but still somewhat hefty.  No sugar also lead to no alcoholic drinks.  I stopped drinking altogether and never felt better.  Trust me I don't miss the headaches and hangovers.  I do drink coffee but very seldom and drink a lot of water, I mean a lot! After then with no sugar, and no alcoholic beverages and plenty of water I was down to a size 12.

April 2103 was a gorgeous month here in Ontario, Canada.  I vowed to my partner that I would like I said, do nothing.  I am a writer, so I put the pen down; I did not write one single sentence for six months.  I only went to a few family events here and there, listened to tunes and hung out with nature.  I curled up everyday from April until September.  I hadn't had sugar for five years, had not touched a drink for 3 years, and watched the birds and bee's hover around our beuatiful garden on our terrace.  My husband was game.  He made dinner each night, might I add he was and is very good in the kitchen.  The meals were nurishing and tasty.  I was noticing that by atleast August I was much smaller, smaller then I had ever been!  I liked it!  Although that was not my intentions when deciding to "Date" nature.  I soon realised that I was actually shedding my weight and Mother Nature was right along with me to whisk it away.   I did not do any of this to loose the weight, that was never my intention.  Still, the weight was shedding non the less, who am I to argue with Mother Nature anyway?

A dance group just happened to open up in our area, and I promised myself that I would one day check it out.  They had an adult drop in center, I couldn't wait-I was all over that! I was feeling healthier after shedding 20 lbs out into nature just by soaking up the sun, the moon and the stars.  I couldn't wait to get out and dance.  I signed up for class and stuck to a routine for 20 weeks, going sometimes twice a week.  Then loosing 50 more lbs.  I went for enjoyment, it was and is the best fun I had in a long time.  My once very "pronounced" belly went down further and further each and every week until it was back to my regular stomach size.  This dance class in Town, became my joy and something that I looked forward to each and every week.  I went from a steady size 13 down to a size 9.  WOW!  I was able to loose weight, just by relaxing and doing things I Like!  That summer I didn't put any undue pressure on myself, I allowed myself to heal naturally with the flowers and tree's.  I became stronger emotionally and found I was more fun to be around with much more energy and less hectic and emotional days!

I think the summer of 2013 was a huge cross road in my life, I really did let the wind carry my weight away!.  I could have joined the gym, like I had done so, so many times before, making myself go on a tred mill that I really didn't want to tred to fast, or lift a few weights a couple times a week.  This dance class, a latin style inspired dance was my type of excersise and it found me!  Moving and shaking my hips while flaring my arms up down and around with such electric music was the best thing I have ever done.  No price of jewlery or trinket would ever replace the happiness I feel when leaving that dance studio. 

For me, walking wasn't cutting it, biking was not doing the trick, the only thing that led me on my way to health and wellness was Nature itself.  For the first time I became still, I was able to meditate and listen to the birds fly over head and chirp all about.  I became grounded!

Now still a flourishing garden a year later, took a few weeks off from dance, I am still a size 9 on a good day and 10 on a regular day.  Hey that is not bad considering that my worse was a size 22.  I never really cared too much about numbers or what I weighed, I was truly happy being a hefty size 13 or even 16.  I put down the sugar bowl, put away the alcohol, now am at a healthy weight, I have a positive attitude a love of nature and movement.  I will not get off this nature train to health and wellness for anyone or anything, I could never turn my back on nature!! 

Certainly having a mental illness, with it comes sometimes having weight issues.  For me, as I became smaller I was able to wean myself off of some of the medications and now am on a very low dose that is fit for me!  Nature clung to me like a lady bug and would not let me fall, it only allowed me to become a better version of myself.  37 was my time to finally rid myself of unwanted negativity and put myself first!  I give Mother Nature a pat on the back, the breeze that she blows each and everyday blew my unwanted weight and put it right into the thin air.  xxoo

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Creating a Budget for Fun When You Have a Mental Illness

Living with a mental illness for over Twenty years, I have had learned different ways to have fun even on a tight budget.  Being someone with an illness of such, I never really truly landed the high end jobs leading to a thriving career.  Not to say that I will never do so.  Personally the stress of an illness, the stigmas within these illnesses have led me to have a leaner budget.  Still though able to handle my finances and basic necessities, I learned to have fun creatively on limited earnings.  At first it was rough.  I wasn't easily able to go to the movies, even on a cheapy night, go golfing, out with friends, or a casual night out at a restaurant.  I became use to it over time mind you and learned many ways to have fun, even when money was on the light side.

Gardening was something that I thought I would never partake in and get any enjoyment out of, later it became my easy as well as incredibly fun and relaxing activity to enjoy through out all the spring and summer months.  I began to go on hikes and enjoy the scenery and nature surounding me.  Going to the beach on a hot day is just a ten minute drive from where I live, also there are so many fresh water beaches that I can actually take my pick at what beach to visit on that hot August day.  Things that I never thought would be fun, became my greatest joys even on such a tight budget.

Finding that extra special trinket at a garage sale is so much more enjoyable, spending a whole afternoon going from house to house and looking for that great find is a great way to spend your time.  There was a time in my life where I did make a lot of money, I would shop without even thinking and before I knew it the shopping cart would be full and the pieces of clothing would usually wind up piled in the back of my closet.  Now I find so much value in the little things in life. Visits with famiy, having afternoon barbeques, going for mid night rides are all great ways to spend time with the ones you love without having to break the bank.

The great thing about having less money I would say is that you tend to enjoy the simplisities.  I became accustomed very quickly to learn to enjoy a home made meal rather then at any restaurant.  Watching movies on television became so much more enjoyable then going out to the movies and spending fourty dollars and then maybe not liking the movie you choose.

I use to enjoy writing, journalising and creating stories.  This was such a low cost activity that later became my passion and purpose in life.  I write now and have become published as an author dealing with subjects on mental health recovery within the family.  Through all the years of picking up a pen for enjoyment and having less time for material fun, I found my calling, passion, career and purpose all while doing it on a creative budget.

Now, the little things mean so much, when I see a flower that I planted bloom in my garden, when I find that piece of furniture that I so wanted that would have cost me an arm and a leg, now only a fraction of the cost, trinkets at garage sales, beaches and family visits all mean so much more then any luxury item.  I found freedom within this and a sense of myself.  More value and time for less!!  There are always ways to have fun on a budget, whether you have an illness or not.  If you have kids; I know some of my friends who are Mom's have their kids making crafts all day, making up a game, sorting through a puzzle or going fishing.  These things are so easy to do and not only are they fun they are attainable to everyone.  Enjoy the smaller things in life, they do tend to give so much more pleasure! xxoo

Tamara Thompson
Author
Before You Were Born
Happy Birthday Jack
Poems Of a Codependant

www.chipmunkapublishing.co.uk
www.amazon.com
chapters/indigo 

Mental Health and Relationships; Can it be Done?

Is there a way to have a thriving, loving, long standing and balanced relationship when dealing with mental health in the family?  I have learned over the years that it is very hard, but attainable.  When I was dating in my Twenties just getting on my feet and learning about my Mental Illness, I would go on dates for coffee or the movies.  Then, I felt obligated to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth about my mental illness.  I was sharp and to the point, after a couple dates I would spill the beans and tell the person straight out..."I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS"!  Their reaction would then determine basically if we would still see one another or not.  Most of them ran for the hills, thinking the worse.

Not alot was known about mental illness back then.  I would tell my Mother that I was telling these "daters" about my illness.  Of course she would say; WHY?  I said because I am not going to date them if they feel funny or timid around such an illness as mine.  I knew that if they never called it was because they did not want to date someone with a mental illness.  For me, I did not hesitate in telling them and in the same case was ready for whatever rejection was about to take place, never taking it personally!  I knew it wasn't ME they didn't want to date, that it was my mental illness and the unknown that they didn't want to date.

There were only two men in my life who accepted my illness and myself.  One being my partner who I now live happily and we are very content.  He was familiar with mental illness and recovery since his family grew up with people who also suffered.

I can say though our relationship is far from perfect, of course it is not!  We; just like every other couple out there have our issues and burdens.  I learned lately, that I would rather have the problems that we carry in our relationship-then any other out there.  In our relationship I know I can handle our set backs.  Where prior, the issues were far to much for me and the other to bare and overcome.  Now my partner and I know our issues and tackle them as they come up.  So the answer is YES!  You can have a very loving, thriving, long standing and balanced relationship when dealing with mental illness.

It can be tricky and hard to navigate some of life's dillemma's.  I learned that if you create a space of understanding, empathy, certainty and a means to grow together then your relationship can be very warm, relaxed and loving.

I have been with my partner happily for Three and a half years.  Some days we don't have a clue on what to do next to overcome an issue, some days pass by so easily and effortlessly like the easy breeze of the light winds and some days it feels like a hurricane hit our romance sector!

When looking for you mate, look for values that you hold dear to your heart, whatever they may be.  That way when dealing with issues the two of you will think along the same lines and believe in one another.

Since my Husband and I began our journey, I not only released alot of feelings I was hanging on to, I also was able to over come so many things that were holding me back.  He gave me my wings to fly-even if they are butterfly wings and in return I have become his inspiration.  I am an Author of Children's Books for Mental health, healing and over coming stigma's.  I work day in and out, creating, networking, preforming etc.  Since he has met me on the other hand, he has become quite the artist and has a timeless career ahead of him.  He is also the Illustrator of my Childrens Books, Before You Were Born and Happy Birthday Jack- The sequil from the Lilly Pad Pond series.  I have 14 books waiting to be published and have had to hire on another illustrator.  Since I met my partner I have written a Poetry book for teens and adults called Poems of a Codependant.  He has taken off with his art ventures and we are both not only surviving but thriving in the art community but also on the home front.

Relationships are work regardless, when having a mental health concern, there are different struggles at hand.  Make sure you are with or looking for a partner that is willing to take on all that goes into dealing with mental health and is aware of the parts of you that come with your illness.  He or She is out there, ready to accept your limits as well as all that the two of you will flourish to become!  Remember stay true to yourself, be accepting of other's of course but also accept yourself as lovely as you are single or with a mate! xoxo