YOUR choice, Dream.

Someone once told me, don't ever give up on your dream, you can do anything!  That person believed in me...I was young and innocent and looked to them for encouragement...when I was tired, sad, lonely, happy, thoughtful, joyful, eager, restless, feeling good about myself or bad...IN each instance I had someone, cheering me on.  I was LUCKY for that..am Lucky for that.  That person taught me to dive, taught me to believe in me as a young girl.  The rest I taught myself or LIFE taught me and I was full ears.

Then someone said, believe in yourself, but give up on your dreams?  A sort of mixed message..but someone I tend to look up towards...in all cases...I can not nor will I.  You can not give up on who you are and you can not help who you are...YOU just are.  

(The week in the life of a person who has to keep going, has to keep on, has to dream BIG, live by there word, live respectfully by there mottos, values.  Learns from hardships to become who they are, become who they see they can be.  Without excuse.)

Someone told someone to not follow a dream, that seed, led to unfulfilling matters, unwaivering mis use, mis trust, mis communication, mis fortune, being mis lead and that person ended up feeling miserable.  WHY, because the INTENTION within that person was not being looked after, there DRIVE was not being looked after, their DREAM was being tested, their ABILITIES were being tested, their MOTIVATION was lacking.  Things then Fell to the ground, and the pieces were to be picked up one by one, two by two then three by three...That person had to look themselves in the mirror...and that person Had to ASK

"Why is it that people seem to be picking on me, why do I have bad luck, what am I doing wrong in my life, to have such catastrophes at my door, trying to push it out, but it keeps coming back, more and more"

When that person asked deep down, WHAT IS IT...what is it that is happening..when all around me are horrendous things taking place, out of my control...horrible things...with no victory and no end it seemed.

The answer was....

"Because that person was NOT following their Dream, their Desire, their LIFE, Their devotion of who they are when they are pursuing that dream"  When that happened...When the person GAVE UP, for whatever reason, when they decided to turn their back on WHO they are, their course in life, something they cultivated...EVERYTHING around them...FELL apart, the cultivation was being left for others to tend to...that person had to cultivate once again, NOT from ground up, but where they left off"  SO the cultivation began"

People became wicked, and there was no PURPOSE...

TO have a dream and FOLLOW it is a CHOICE, ONE choice, MADE many times!!!! I vow never to turn my back or listen to someones ideas about my dreams, my choice, my ambition...When I am closer everyday...I am Happy when I write, for the purpose there are many...for others, for thinking, for clear air, for reaching out, for others reaching back, for understanding, for fellowship, for groundedness, for unity, for LOVE, for LIFE, for health, for offering something to the place I call home; Earth, to contribute, to give, to create, to harmonize and perhaps as I keep going...OTHERS will to!

On Bended Knees You Can Believe.

With Easter on its way, there is much birth, rebirth, change, praise, love for HIM.  You can believe, have Faith that He is working everyday.  Giving thanks not just to people although very important.  Giving thanks everyday for the many blessings, for life, the people in it, the family we cherish, the love restored...many things.  I am very spiritual, love all things with good energy, healing, not just positivity-although that is one way to look at it and begin.

Along our paths, sometimes when we need courage, help, health, help when we stumble, when we move away from ourselves.  The greatest gifts that were given to me was when I was on bended knee praying to the LORD above.  I prayed many times for healing of my illness, still do everyday.  I knew way back that if I turned to him, he could and would hear me.  There was really nothing else I could do but pray.  The feelings I was having were awful, dealing with the many bipolar issues.  It was bigger then me.  I then turned to spirituality since then.  Turned my road and path around from that bottom from then on.  Since then, healing was given in many respects.  I seemed to meet the RIGHT people, who would be there, even in thought, but be there they are.  I would stumble on the precious people in my life and know that they are good, they need to be in my life and maybe me in theirs even at such a young age.  Still we connect and gladly.  There were others who I could NOT do it without.  My spiritual adviser, who also is so giving and concerning when there is an issue...non bias, we PRAY together..and all else is forgotten.  My therapist, who I not only see at the office, but he continues to make me a priority when needed and giving a phone call at the comfort of my own home, to walk me through any struggle.  I have a friend, a doula, for my blessing with our pregnancy, who's wisdom and knowledge, professionalism is key and very helpful.  In an instant all of them appeared when on bended knee.  In search for more, in search for meaning, friendship, with no conditions we are able to even feed each other with knowledge of spirituality and growth.

Discovering my spiritual adviser was truly heavens sent.  I called her because she had some supplements that I could purchase...we got to talking as she took her time with me.  I told her and explained last MAY, that I would love along with my husband to conceive.  Although she had a supplement for that...she asked if she minded if she PRAYED....and I allowed it.  We talked for two hours...months later, and late in life almost 40 yrs old and years of trying...my prayers, our prayers were answered...and I KNEW it was right and true...all is right and true. We prayed for a miracle and were ready to receive...being VERY MINDFUL, knowing that relaxation was key as well and was already set on a healthy path, with food, drink and Dance.  I updated her and was she ever pleased.

Prior, my prayers were answered in the years where I use to have difficulty with my illness, now not an issue unless I make it one...met the right counselor for me, the right family doctor who also took me seriously even as a twenty something.  Met friends here and there...who stuck, took classes in many things...really the thirst for knowledge was in my writing blood and can not survive happily without my writing bug.  That will never dissipate, it is me, who I am, a big part of me.  I met my husband again on bended knees, I learned, adjusted, he learned adjusted.  Again needing my spiritual counselor I called on bended knees, we had a lot of time spent talking and praying and it was not just helpful.  It was joyful, it aided in healing in every sector that needed it.  I allowed healing, we all did.  In the end of this conversation on bended knees was again a happy ending to a grouling couple of weeks, hurt, upset, commotion no more.  Forgiveness was the answer, of myself and more...things were handled just as it was meant, worry diminished.  That is why I hold the people in my circle close and hope them to me as well.  My doula is a forever constant that I know we will share a bond now and in the future, our baby is on HIS way and so blessed.

You can believe that on bended knees, with what ever is lurking, or hurting, dismaying that HE is the only one on bended knees will hear you, help you, the change within will be deeper and more concise then any other.  You may not believe, like I once did...sometimes there just is no other choice but to believe and become restored completely and always on bended knees.