When I came across this picture, my heart ached once again.
I remembered where I came from, I remembered my story,
I remembered that I fought so hard, The battle seemed long
and unbearable at the time, but I won!
I beat Bipolar hands down, instead of beating myself up for
enduring this, I think now...and remember that,
So I write, I write and I write like I am doing tonight
until my words cause me to feel brave again and in doing so
I am able to heal me again.
As someone who has Bipolar, who has fought this illness,
who has seen the depths of what this illness can do, the harm
It is people like this, celebrities, like Robin William, Brittany Spears and so many others who have come forward to talk about this rather awkward, debilitating, painful and crucifying illness.
In no way am I trying to not being sensitive about COVID-19,
to the world around us, the despair the planet is facing everywhere right now and for the suffering and the sad situations that this virus has caused.
I came across this very famous picture that you see, of the "princess of pop Brittany Spears." When this came out in the
early Millenium, I had already healed from the wrecks of bipolar, though I followed her story, it gave me more hope to keep fighting, I felt like I was fighting alongside her,
with her. The battles she faced, though hers being wildly public, knowing everyone was speaking of her peculiar and random behaviour.
Deep down I knew exactly what this beautiful person, this iconic figure was going through and I felt close to someone I had never even known. I wasn't a big fan from her era, I am about ten years her senior-and when I went through the hard times with facing Bipolar I was about five years healthy and well, without an episode to speak of, I had my own business, I was doing very good for myself... then I saw what she faced, head-on in the tabloids and I knew precisely what she was going through. It was everything I had already gone through, I knew her pain, almost like it was my own.
In my day to day life, I chose to and was able to speak about this, through Britney's story for the first time...I became stronger and a big cheerleader of hers, even though she would never know.
Her fight became my fight all over again, against the many
people that I would come into contact with who would nitpick and say hurtful things about her, if they said that about her, then that was what they were saying about me and others.
It hurt just hearing what people thought about her and about her painful struggle with mental illness. The stereotype was apparent, and it wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I thought, well...I have to say something...they are saying all these bashing things about people with mental illness, they are talking about me and many people I know... That was the time I finally got to utilize something so powerful, a tool we all have, I got to finally use the strength of my voice.
I was an esthetician, with my own esthetics business, years ago, I would sit in front people putting on professional make up for them, or giving them a facial while I went about
pampering them, more times than not the mood would strike up then, a conversation about Britney Spear's story. This happened more times then I could count. I remember hearing how awful she was, the horrid things she was doing, how ridiculous she was behaving. What did I do when I heard someone speak ill of her? I decided right then and there as I sat at my esthetics tables to, DISPEL ALL OF THAT WAS BEING SAID about her! I was able to speak to people who would bash her, gossip about her, say petty comments, I was able to STAND UP for someone I would never know..but somehow, along the way our stories collided.
Only because her break down, was my break down, her turmoil was my turmoil and I grew my voice speaking up for her while rooting for her seemed to be more of my job than working on someone's nails ever became. I dived right in to highlight how much she was enduring... Causing a fray of empathy for her anywhere I could. It came out later that she did suffer from the very same illness that I also suffered from just years apart. That was when I knew to share more about these illnesses that are so invisible, so painful and seemingly being so private. It became apparent to rise above my own shyness that it meant something to have this illness, the struggle meant something and when sharing over and over, in my writing or day today, I was able to feel a sense of healing I never had the privilege of feeling before.
Maybe it's the reason I am sharing this tonight on this blog? Maybe somewhere, someone is also needing a cheerleader?
There is great strength and power in the words we speak
Sharing releases the shame, the pain, the burdens of facing these battles alone. "Without anyone knowing about the things we are suffering from is NOT the way to go!"
I am very adamant now that I share my story, whenever and where ever possible. It has brought me great pleasure and many blessings in my life. It has always been my best power tool, my shield and my guard; Hearing other people share their stories, has helped me, offering their voice instead of my own, because, at the time, I was too weak.
When I couldn't fight let alone stand up for my own story and my own self-worth, when I needed it most, the times I was too shy to speak about the pain I was enduring.. their stories
shined a light, showing me the way. Over time I became very free with my words about mental illness and what I faced. Somehow this saved my life. The struggle was and sometimes still is quite real... the words that I speak, the words I write seem to dispel all of that! When I first heard about her story, my advocacy against mental illness along with the stereotypes and the stigmas, we have been burdened with; began!
-Today, the strength I have gained from winning in this battle of beating bipolar, the compassion I feel every day for humankind, the gratitude I have for being able to live each day to the fullest like it was my last! Not a day goes by without me saying thank you to the universe, for health, and wellness being on my side - first and foremost. I learned to be good to myself and others. "With all of the scars, all of the embarrassment, the ridicule, the gossip we face, the things we hear people say, It's not an easy task to handle and to regain health and wellness in spite of this, though it can be done!"
Mental illness can be completely debilitating and crucifying in the sense that many who don't understand or accept,
those who may not rally with us or cheer for us. It's NOT something to be mocked, or ridiculed, or gossiped about. This is a real illness and not all survive, unfortunately, sometimes the pain takes over, very sadly so! I had no idea I would be sharing this small part of my journey through Bipolar, though...Maybe tonight somewhere, someone may have needed a light shining on them. Just as I watched Britney Spears struggle, knowing that there was someone out there, who shared the same burdens, was enough as I clapped cheerfully for she turned around and headed for recovery.
Using our words that are gentle and healing, tender and loving, accepting and kind... Being good to our planet, to our
environment, to our friends and family, to our neighbours, to the employees that we can't do without. Where employers need to know that; EMPLOYEES ARE REALLY NOT SO IRREPLACEABLE as once was thought. Where having a team full of happy front line workers is a must, it is necessary for businesses to thrive, that employees should not be thought of as a number, just a person to help reach a quota for the duration. That these employees should be respected, valued, cared for and helped all the time, not just in a world crisis and a pandemic!
I am very adamant now that I share my story, whenever and where ever possible. It has brought me great pleasure and many blessings in my life. It has always been my best power tool, my shield and my guard; Hearing other people share their stories, has helped me, offering their voice instead of my own, because, at the time, I was too weak.
When I couldn't fight let alone stand up for my own story and my own self-worth, when I needed it most, the times I was too shy to speak about the pain I was enduring.. their stories
-Today, the strength I have gained from winning in this battle of beating bipolar, the compassion I feel every day for humankind, the gratitude I have for being able to live each day to the fullest like it was my last! Not a day goes by without me saying thank you to the universe, for health, and wellness being on my side - first and foremost. I learned to be good to myself and others. "With all of the scars, all of the embarrassment, the ridicule, the gossip we face, the things we hear people say, It's not an easy task to handle and to regain health and wellness in spite of this, though it can be done!"
those who may not rally with us or cheer for us. It's NOT something to be mocked, or ridiculed, or gossiped about. This is a real illness and not all survive, unfortunately, sometimes the pain takes over, very sadly so! I had no idea I would be sharing this small part of my journey through Bipolar, though...Maybe tonight somewhere, someone may have needed a light shining on them. Just as I watched Britney Spears struggle, knowing that there was someone out there, who shared the same burdens, was enough as I clapped cheerfully for she turned around and headed for recovery.
Using our words that are gentle and healing, tender and loving, accepting and kind... Being good to our planet, to our
Knowing just like the COVID-19 "That This Too Shall Pass"
The lessons learned will be of value for mankind and all humanity and in the many communities, we come from.
In no way do I want to overstep on anyone who is suffering
from the anguish of COVID-19, who is in pain, or deeply burdened, my heart goes out to all who are feeling deep sorrow.
Saying I AM WELL, speaking the words I AM HEALTHY, the healing that comes with these words create a mindset in the beliefs we hold, that no one can ever break or tare down.
"Knowing that you may or may not read this in your social media today, tomorrow or the next day, maybe you won't ever but maybe someone will, maybe it's just the cheer that they needed." Like I said I had no idea, that I would be up late tonight writing in a blog post. Struck by this one image that I happened to come across on my Instagram Account, though she certainly is brave and she most certainly became victorious in her battle with bipolar, as did I, as can you.
Knowing that words are power, well....it's great to share.
Sharing tends to strengthen and restore a deep power within.
I think that is what COVID-19 is showing me and perhaps many of us, that sadly tomorrow is not promised. For today, be kind to one another, with our words that we speak, that is where our true power lies. Knowing that our earth and everything around us can heal if we stand together, not alone!
i. Blog Your Business, blog stories for the
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Tamara Thompson, mental health advocate,
mental health children's book author & poet.
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