Twenty years of crippling defeat is what it was, she had to fight, every second of the day, every breath, she had to fight back the tears while she walked halls, sidewalks, corners and beside picket fences, she hung her head low. Why, she figured then, she was useless. She figured then, no one could love her, she figured then she was unlovable. Why? Because of a Stigma called Mental Illness.
After days and days, hours and hours, minutes and minutes-She worked hard. Yes at a job, or two or three, but she worked hard to gain her voice. How, she looked herself in the mirror. At first, she had to look away, she was horrified. She looked again and again. Then she met someone, who? Herself.
She met herself in all the rotten glory of being human. She cried and then a fierce glare returned to her eyes. Ones of her youth, ones of victory, eyes of fight and promise. Realising, she is human, and a woman. And the fight was on. What fight? To win her voice back. So then, she wrote. She wrote about everything. 20 years of pages journal entries, she wrote letters gave some and ripped some and burned some. She then used her voice-WOW, what a sight. She gained her voice back.
She would walk halls, although newer and different halls, she would walk sidewalks, newer, narrower sidewalks, she would walk corners and beside picket fences, smaller shabbier picket fences. Though now, she was smiling, now she was walking tall, she had found herself again.
Then she heard snickers, what did she say. "Oh well, not my problem" Then she heard whispers about her as she past by, people pointing, people laughing. What did she say, "Oh well, not my problem". You see, the things people were saying and had said, the things she would catch wind of through every corner, sidewalk and picket fences; was nothing compared to the things she would say about herself until-SHE FOUND HER VOICE. What did she do? Nothing. She did Nothing. She did not lay awake at night, worried to what others thought. Like-"Who's That Girl and who does she think she is?" She just carried on, head up, looking straight ahead, ignoring the remarks that came from the corners and the sidewalks. What did she do? She forgave herself for hating herself and she Loved herself for loving herself. She realised that, IF HE said this, about ME.....What does that make HIM? And if I say nothing about them....What does that make ME? Better- It makes me Better! In every sense of the word BETTER!
She became stronger because of HIS and HER snickers, She grew a voice because of HIS and HER comments. She became Better. How, by Ignoring it, trusting herself, loving herself. A young girl who forgot how to walk, though there was no wheel chair needed...her voice was crippled. People attacked this girl after she found love for herself, what did she do, Nothing. What did she really do, She did it anyway. How? Taking A STEP, a first, second, third that we all do, every step, she would walk harder, she would ground herself, take a deep breath, and think her own thoughts and she would smile, she would laugh, she would look to the sky and say....."WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WORLD"!
What happened to the people whispering and laughing at the corners. Well, they are still there you see, being just as harsh.....What did she do? She did it anyway.
