Mental Health and Relationships; Can it be Done?

Is there a way to have a thriving, loving, long standing and balanced relationship when dealing with mental health in the family?  I have learned over the years that it is very hard, but attainable.  When I was dating in my Twenties just getting on my feet and learning about my Mental Illness, I would go on dates for coffee or the movies.  Then, I felt obligated to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth about my mental illness.  I was sharp and to the point, after a couple dates I would spill the beans and tell the person straight out..."I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS"!  Their reaction would then determine basically if we would still see one another or not.  Most of them ran for the hills, thinking the worse.

Not alot was known about mental illness back then.  I would tell my Mother that I was telling these "daters" about my illness.  Of course she would say; WHY?  I said because I am not going to date them if they feel funny or timid around such an illness as mine.  I knew that if they never called it was because they did not want to date someone with a mental illness.  For me, I did not hesitate in telling them and in the same case was ready for whatever rejection was about to take place, never taking it personally!  I knew it wasn't ME they didn't want to date, that it was my mental illness and the unknown that they didn't want to date.

There were only two men in my life who accepted my illness and myself.  One being my partner who I now live happily and we are very content.  He was familiar with mental illness and recovery since his family grew up with people who also suffered.

I can say though our relationship is far from perfect, of course it is not!  We; just like every other couple out there have our issues and burdens.  I learned lately, that I would rather have the problems that we carry in our relationship-then any other out there.  In our relationship I know I can handle our set backs.  Where prior, the issues were far to much for me and the other to bare and overcome.  Now my partner and I know our issues and tackle them as they come up.  So the answer is YES!  You can have a very loving, thriving, long standing and balanced relationship when dealing with mental illness.

It can be tricky and hard to navigate some of life's dillemma's.  I learned that if you create a space of understanding, empathy, certainty and a means to grow together then your relationship can be very warm, relaxed and loving.

I have been with my partner happily for Three and a half years.  Some days we don't have a clue on what to do next to overcome an issue, some days pass by so easily and effortlessly like the easy breeze of the light winds and some days it feels like a hurricane hit our romance sector!

When looking for you mate, look for values that you hold dear to your heart, whatever they may be.  That way when dealing with issues the two of you will think along the same lines and believe in one another.

Since my Husband and I began our journey, I not only released alot of feelings I was hanging on to, I also was able to over come so many things that were holding me back.  He gave me my wings to fly-even if they are butterfly wings and in return I have become his inspiration.  I am an Author of Children's Books for Mental health, healing and over coming stigma's.  I work day in and out, creating, networking, preforming etc.  Since he has met me on the other hand, he has become quite the artist and has a timeless career ahead of him.  He is also the Illustrator of my Childrens Books, Before You Were Born and Happy Birthday Jack- The sequil from the Lilly Pad Pond series.  I have 14 books waiting to be published and have had to hire on another illustrator.  Since I met my partner I have written a Poetry book for teens and adults called Poems of a Codependant.  He has taken off with his art ventures and we are both not only surviving but thriving in the art community but also on the home front.

Relationships are work regardless, when having a mental health concern, there are different struggles at hand.  Make sure you are with or looking for a partner that is willing to take on all that goes into dealing with mental health and is aware of the parts of you that come with your illness.  He or She is out there, ready to accept your limits as well as all that the two of you will flourish to become!  Remember stay true to yourself, be accepting of other's of course but also accept yourself as lovely as you are single or with a mate! xoxo