The Bully and The Wheel

"Oh she is just a bully, she does not mean any harm".  "Oh don't worry they are just being a bully". 

"Don't pay any attention to them, they are just bullies". The subject of the "bully" has always been near and dear to my heart-somehow as a children's author and advocate for kids and a teens-this subject is a concept that needs to be discussed.  How though, can we discuss these matters full heartedly, if we can not understand the bully?  People see in the movies and on the big screen all the time, this paradigm has been happening for generations of past and even present.

Though, I live in a world where my hopes and dreams are that bullying is banished out of societies forever!  That I envision a world I would be proud to live in, where bullying is a thing of the past.  Can this Utopia ever be so, if we do not understand the bullies behaviour?  To understand such foolish behaviour goes beyond our normal scope of understanding and to understand the hopes of banishment may be futile.  As we are not the bully, nor even intend to be or to become.  So how do we abolish this behaviour, when all we really know what to say is "Oh she is just a bully, she does not mean any harm"?

A bully you say...  So many questions raise our attention, how to stop a bully-is a task that seems so much greater than ourselves.  Just as the great invention of the wheel was made, I am sure not long after was the realization and invention of the brake, people wanted to know how to stop the wheel, the brake, of course, was a good choice for an invention and an easy assessment of how to fix a wheel in motion.  So much so that we use both wheel and brake as a unit still.  Though the bully continues on, though we pray and wish and hope that the bullying will stop-though unlike the invention of the brake, we have not ever been able to.  All we can say then is "oh don't worry about them they are just bullies'?  That thought in itself is just the side step that favours the bully with their actions.

I have been bullied in my life, I am a 5'1 40-year-old woman, I am a new Mother, I love to dance, sing, laugh-make others laugh, I like to discuss human nature, I love to write, I tend to smile in my home and outside my home and am the most delighted to give a smile, wave or nod to anyone that may need a gesture of acknowledgment.  Though I still have been bullied, sometimes every day and other times just here and there.

They say, talk about it...that will relieve the strain of being bullied...This is a task in itself, still because we do not understand the bully as we understand many things in our lives like the invention of the wheel and the brake that followed.  The solution to the wheel in constant motion was quickly resolved, the brake became such a wonderful way to dissolve any matters of wheels carrying on wheeling around forever, the halt was put on to stop the wheel from busting through homes, or windows-the brake was a great resolve for this to not carry on. We understand the wheel, the bully we do not.  So how can you stop something that we could never conclude to know about?  How can there be a plan of understanding when there is no understanding. Why they torment, tease, push around- no one knows?

The bully though, with their teasing, picking and sometimes crude behaviour we can not grasp and

rightly so.  Saying then...'Don't worry, they are just being bullies"  is all that we can say to console ourselves and others, of course.  This is what I know from being a person,

in my attempt for advocation.

A bully you say...is a coward, a frightened speculation riddled with the angst of jealousies.  The books say, without love, there is no joy and without love, you have at the very core which is jealousy; turned to anger, even hatred. Feelings we can not grasp.  The feelings of the bully stem from complexes of dissatisfaction within themselves.  What they see in others seems greater, more favourable, the awesomeness, the grandness...they do not see that yet, in themselves-they then retaliate towards the person they feel who to them is grand.  Believing that if they pick enough, they will not be greater, they will not be more amazing or highly favourable, they will not be so awesome.  The bully see's the person that they are zoned in on attacking as a threat.  The bully has no idea why this good-hearted soul smiles every day, why do they have a bounce in their step, why do they look so light-hearted in their talks with peers?  Though the threat is nothing more than someone that is kinder, someone who cares, someone with a helping hand, someone with a lot of good in them.  This is what the bully wants to acquire, though feels they never can.  Then they plan a course of retaliation. These smiles cannot be taken, the helping hand cannot be had, the laughter with cheery disposition cannot be stolen, happiness cannot be taken.

There was someone else who was bullied in ways I have just described-favourably and lovingly we just had celebrated his Birth.  Jesus was bullied, people did not want to believe, could not understand his joy, his love and his pureness.  The giving of miracles, his miracles, his very stance was good; all good.  People did not want to believe in such love or joy or hope, where there would not be worries about shelter, food, warmth, but only for Love, Caring and Kind.

My belief is,  -instead- of trying to "Understand The Bully" which we can't! Our faith is left with our own free will, in our own thoughts to understand what can be understood as a solution being; LOVE... 

"Just like solving a wheel in motion with a brake was an instant solution to a Wheel barreling around aimlessly".

All we really need to know is who we are.  It is much more validating, brave, highly courageous and strong; this belief in ourselves.  you can not really say too much about a bully. In this, it is true..."They are just a bully".

-Tamara Thompson