Verbal Abuse How It Starts, How It Stops

What is verbal abuse?  How does it compare to any other abuse.  They "say" verbal abuse is worse then physical.  Abuse though is abuse and I don't think two people who have underwent this sort of action towards them would sit and ponder which is worse.  Although I do know it hurts, leaving a scar when it is physical abuse shows to the world what has happened behind closed doors as on tries to carry on with the day, however hurt and scorned.  Not one person I know, I believe would want that type of revealing of the night before.  Hide it with make up in a flush is most likely more ridiculing, hoping that no one will ask. 

Both are extremely difficult to I believe get over.  Does one ever?  I am sure that Verbal abuse is a tricky battle, with the blows of name calling in anger has a demolishing affect.  Over time one starts to believe, just like with physical that they deserve this torment, hurt and start to live accordingly, both causing a make up of what one is, what that person feels that they are worth.  How does it start, always the small things, the red flags, the circle of doubt, then grows to damaging the person deep to the roots, the core and forever.  Is there recovery in this?  Can one with any abuse rise above and become the person they were meant to be?  Holding it in to hope that it goes away is waisted efforts.  Usually the attacked have to go to circus lengths to get out of the situation, start anew, gather and go, vowing to not let this happen.  Though most likely there is a feeling of "it must be me".  It is NOT.

Stopping is courageous, it really means getting out and getting help, which is never a light easy start over.  Replacing the negative thoughts, hurts and gouges with better thoughts of oneself takes years of practice.  It is though a glorifying rediscovering of oneself, almost an I AM BACK, type of let go and owning all at the same time.  To think though if you or anyone is in this awful place, who has the right to treat you this way?  To think of the attacker to name call a Cat all day long, would look pretty silly would it not?  It is mere silliness and selfish to think one could do this to a cat of all things.  What if that attacker had a bad day, came home to yell, name call and for whatever reason take the aggression out, verbally and or physically...what if there was no one there?  Who would then be there to bounce the anger out on?  Holler at the stove, kick the garbage around.  Silly is it not? 

Leaving you do become stronger, but being strong is not the point, not in the eyes of the person catching the throws.  It is not a relief to say, wow now I am stronger, few...I wanted to be so strong!  No, most people just want to live in peace, harmony.  What happens if the person being lashed, stays, goes along for many many years....it is awful to think that way...but does happen.  They don't have a day off, a weekend off to replenish themselves for an upcoming week of work.  This is there life and they are use to that.  They really don't take a break from the reality they are caught in.  There is no release for them and when there is, how healthy would it be?  To dive deep for myself on a Friday night, some may say-lighten up its the weekend...enjoy.  But do the people who are being treated this way even have that oportunity?  Being a voice for the one that has no voice for the time, in regard to their emotions, how can an advocate like myself too take a day off...when it is my, as an advocate to be that voice in a way of fighting for them to have a voice.

I will say, I was in a situation in my life way long ago where I was verbally attacked.  So I can feel that presence even on a Friday night.  It is a constant fight to survive, even after years of recovery.  How can you take a day off when you are passionate about these issues, even prior to weekend party time.  To recover though can be an awesome event, a fresh and exuberant time.  To leave is important, valid, true, the only way.  To make that leap, is giving back your power.  Gaining that power for only yourself is the most critical turning point in your life.  To not LET it happen again, is empowering others as well, to see that strength for this reason is victorious, no one asks for this behaviour to develop.  It creeps up. 

Can there be a positive spin to lighten the crises, the abuse-I will leave that UP TO YOU!