Ask me how I can showcase your business globally. I work with entrepreneurs who are passionately driven, who are collectively conscience and those with clarity who wish to inspire. i. Blog Your Business is a creative marketing force propelling your dreams. Email me at butterflybee888@gmail.com Reach me by phone 705-517-0563 Cell Phone 705-321-3633 Find me on Facebook at i. Blog Your Business https://www.facebook.com/iblogyourbusiness/
Friday, 26 December 2014
Self Help Books for Kids, Teens and Family For any situation...
Here are a few of my books for sale on Amazon.co Amazon.ca Amazon.uk www.chapters/indigo.ca Barnes and Noble and My publisher in England www.chipmunkapublishing.co.uk And available in many other stores around the Globe.
Ebook downloads and Ready in your hand paperbacks. Enjoy reading, learning and growing out of frustration and into Self Love and Care for all ages.
http://www.amazon.com/Poems-Codependant-Tamara-Thompson-ebook/dp/B00FA34WKG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419613876&sr=8-1&keywords=tamara+thompson+poems+of+a+codependant
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=tamara%20thompson%20before%20you%20were%20born
http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=2534
http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=2478
http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1636
http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1381
Ebook Before You Were Born www.chipmunkapublishing.co.uk
Positivity Is NOT a Catch Phrase
It is not just about thinking positive and whoosh everything that was every upsetting in your life magically disappears. If it were that simple that we all just said, "keep smiling, turn that frown upside down now"...Then life would be very simple wouldn't it be? It would almost be to simple, to boring and not many learned lessons to be had. No, Thinking positive is much more about Being a positive soul from inside out. Not just talking empty words of positive stimulation. But being that positive force that not only touches you and helps you through many obstacles....also touching the lives of others. Creating a life force within you that radiates somehow, big or small onto everyone you meet. In so, creating a change within them, that motivates them too to not only talk of nice things, but be GREAT even in any adversity.
I believe today, people throw around the Positive message to easily where now I see that it is becoming a HOAX...When in reality, it is an all knowing that Everyday, is a great day, Everyday there is much good and not much bad, Everyday getting up excited even just to go to the Dentist. Everyday is worthwhile and somehow a lesson or two come out of each day all through Positive Action.
I find it easier to live in the Light of Positivity, but not all must rely on such a paradigm. No you don't have to believe, of course not. It really did work for me and for many others I know and hey, much easier to get through the day, week, month, without being bothered by the trivial or not so trivial matters.
For me, I had to for the last Two years, maybe more-get through the crap! There were good times and bad, very good times and yes very bad. Many times crying myself to sleep, many times happy to wake up to enjoy a bright and sunny day and sunny disposition. I know with all my knowing that IF I did not turn to Positivity without it being a HOAX or a mainstream classification...Then I would NOT BE HERE TODAY. IF I let myself wallow in my pity, allow myself to dislike who I am because of blunders or mistakes...If I allowed any more of the crap without using my positive tool light to guide me..THEN I WOULD NOT COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE.
It is not about one day believing, one day not, one minute smiling the next scowling every where you go...although it does take practice. I had to walk the walk not just talk the talk of positivity. I truly believe if we all did this, time and time again turning to our power within to Think, Be and Act in desirable light for you, and FOR HIM...then There would be much less upset, much less emotional scars, much less depression, much less suicide...Dare I say?
If you had the chance to save someone out of misery, talk them out of a dump and into a positive walking being, able to handle any hiccup along the way, Would you be that positive force to help someone out of dread and to shed light onto an unhappy situation?
We had a rough go for a few years, I knew about my faith in positivity...I had to use it, I had to teach it to my loved one, I had to fight everyday to see the hour of positive faith and to use that faith to lean on by any means...I did not say, "Oh I am positive in a fluff"..I HAD TO BE that POSITIVE change within ME, to allow the process of HEALING to begin for US. I had to look forward to everyday, no matter what happened, I had to believe that great things are here for me now and that I am blessed, I had to THINK good, FEEL GOOD and BE GOOD. Of course I am human and to err is HUMAN, I know though that my TRUE unrelenting force of positivity that I had to create and lay groundwork from years ago had to be cultivated, I had to shed that light onto my days of adversity to allow my loved one and I to survive.
AND WE PREVAILED!
One may say, "OH ya just think positive" such a catch phrase now. That is just to simple, it is NOT a phrase or a word to be said loosely. IT is a production created within to be HAPPY, Choosing to BE happy, choosing to think of the many great blessings everyday...Even if one is at their utmost worse...EVEN if the most horrific things are going on around or within you. POSITIVITY is NOT a catch phrase...POSITIVITY can SAVE YOUR LIFE and YOUR SOUL and MANY OTHERS!! USE it with care.
I believe today, people throw around the Positive message to easily where now I see that it is becoming a HOAX...When in reality, it is an all knowing that Everyday, is a great day, Everyday there is much good and not much bad, Everyday getting up excited even just to go to the Dentist. Everyday is worthwhile and somehow a lesson or two come out of each day all through Positive Action.
I find it easier to live in the Light of Positivity, but not all must rely on such a paradigm. No you don't have to believe, of course not. It really did work for me and for many others I know and hey, much easier to get through the day, week, month, without being bothered by the trivial or not so trivial matters.
For me, I had to for the last Two years, maybe more-get through the crap! There were good times and bad, very good times and yes very bad. Many times crying myself to sleep, many times happy to wake up to enjoy a bright and sunny day and sunny disposition. I know with all my knowing that IF I did not turn to Positivity without it being a HOAX or a mainstream classification...Then I would NOT BE HERE TODAY. IF I let myself wallow in my pity, allow myself to dislike who I am because of blunders or mistakes...If I allowed any more of the crap without using my positive tool light to guide me..THEN I WOULD NOT COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE.
It is not about one day believing, one day not, one minute smiling the next scowling every where you go...although it does take practice. I had to walk the walk not just talk the talk of positivity. I truly believe if we all did this, time and time again turning to our power within to Think, Be and Act in desirable light for you, and FOR HIM...then There would be much less upset, much less emotional scars, much less depression, much less suicide...Dare I say?
If you had the chance to save someone out of misery, talk them out of a dump and into a positive walking being, able to handle any hiccup along the way, Would you be that positive force to help someone out of dread and to shed light onto an unhappy situation?
We had a rough go for a few years, I knew about my faith in positivity...I had to use it, I had to teach it to my loved one, I had to fight everyday to see the hour of positive faith and to use that faith to lean on by any means...I did not say, "Oh I am positive in a fluff"..I HAD TO BE that POSITIVE change within ME, to allow the process of HEALING to begin for US. I had to look forward to everyday, no matter what happened, I had to believe that great things are here for me now and that I am blessed, I had to THINK good, FEEL GOOD and BE GOOD. Of course I am human and to err is HUMAN, I know though that my TRUE unrelenting force of positivity that I had to create and lay groundwork from years ago had to be cultivated, I had to shed that light onto my days of adversity to allow my loved one and I to survive.
AND WE PREVAILED!
One may say, "OH ya just think positive" such a catch phrase now. That is just to simple, it is NOT a phrase or a word to be said loosely. IT is a production created within to be HAPPY, Choosing to BE happy, choosing to think of the many great blessings everyday...Even if one is at their utmost worse...EVEN if the most horrific things are going on around or within you. POSITIVITY is NOT a catch phrase...POSITIVITY can SAVE YOUR LIFE and YOUR SOUL and MANY OTHERS!! USE it with care.
Sunday, 21 December 2014
Would You Give up Your Dream?
There is not many things I would give up on, for my Dreams to be fulfilled. I do believe things take priorities at different points in your life and things have set backs to some degree, to me a burning flame is a burning flame. It comes from within and if you dream BIG enough, long enough, with enough faith, surrounding yourself with the right people, nothing will stand in your way. If you are a goal setter like I am and a motivated individual, working towards your dream or goal with your motivation for the fruitation of it being realized, it will come true. I do know the other side to not having your dream fulfilled. One reason I get along with my partner and husband so well is because he is a goal setter, motivated and he to is following his path of his dreams being fulfilled. The other side of that is perhaps following the standard quo, or possibly having a goal or dream but following what someone else wants for you-not your own. That side of it, I know first hand causes a lot of heartache.
Imagine, having a dream your whole life-even a bucket list type of dream...but never realizing it, never even talking about it. When you go to sleep at night though, that dream is there in your soul nugging at you to come out. It is always with you, it wants to be fulfilled. Your dream wants to make you feel whole; a complete circle from the inside out; no matter how big or small...it is all relative. I have watched many people who have had dreams, told me what they were....gave ideas on how to follow that path of hope, after I listened I would say "Oh you should do that, you would be great at that"! Then always there words are, "Ya BUT, it would not work"....I wonder how many times someone told that person it would never work? When I saw the gleam and sparkle in there eye, I saw that person light up, I saw the person talking fast, that I could even almost taste what they wanted. I believed whole heartedley that they could definatley have there dream fulfilled, they though did not.
Would you give up on your dream and if so, why?
At the beginning of each new year elementary school, the Teachers would come to the front, write there name on the board then ask us as students, "What do you want to be when you grow up"? When they came to me I would say shyly although truthfully, "I want to change the world" They then would say "How" I would again shyly say "By helping people" I guess the Teachers knew right then that I would not be on the honour role for any mathematics or any other glum teachings. That is still with me today, whether I do it through my writing, or in small ways when I meet people out and about...That is what drives me. Ultimatley that is what I still plan to do.
Don't give up on your dreams, whatever they are...There are far too too many people on their path for someone else, possibly a parental figure or for what ever other reason. I know to well, how it feels to come home from yes, a job you hate, etc etc etc. Following a dream, is not hard work, it is already staring you straight in the heart and deep within you. Could you see Rocky saying "ahhh, no I don't really want to go another round, although it is toe to toe and only five minutes left until the bell rings"? If he ever had done that, how could he see or know what the outcome would be...EVEN if he did not win that fight. Do you ever see an olympian soaring down the slopes beating everyone's time and then to say, "Ahh it is too cold, I am going to go warm up". Last example I promise. What if you were building a house, a dream home for you family, if you only had 5 days left and the whole house would be complete, would you throw down your hammer and say, I have a back pain...I guess this house can't be finished...? NO none of this would really make much sense if this or that was your true passion and dream. I could see if you were miserable at doing something, you would not want to do it for very long and then find a way to hopefully pursue your dreams.
The question yet still remains, Would you give up on your dream? The answer to me is plain and clear as day..."NO that would mean to give up on life, and YOURSELF.
Imagine, having a dream your whole life-even a bucket list type of dream...but never realizing it, never even talking about it. When you go to sleep at night though, that dream is there in your soul nugging at you to come out. It is always with you, it wants to be fulfilled. Your dream wants to make you feel whole; a complete circle from the inside out; no matter how big or small...it is all relative. I have watched many people who have had dreams, told me what they were....gave ideas on how to follow that path of hope, after I listened I would say "Oh you should do that, you would be great at that"! Then always there words are, "Ya BUT, it would not work"....I wonder how many times someone told that person it would never work? When I saw the gleam and sparkle in there eye, I saw that person light up, I saw the person talking fast, that I could even almost taste what they wanted. I believed whole heartedley that they could definatley have there dream fulfilled, they though did not.
Would you give up on your dream and if so, why?
At the beginning of each new year elementary school, the Teachers would come to the front, write there name on the board then ask us as students, "What do you want to be when you grow up"? When they came to me I would say shyly although truthfully, "I want to change the world" They then would say "How" I would again shyly say "By helping people" I guess the Teachers knew right then that I would not be on the honour role for any mathematics or any other glum teachings. That is still with me today, whether I do it through my writing, or in small ways when I meet people out and about...That is what drives me. Ultimatley that is what I still plan to do.
Don't give up on your dreams, whatever they are...There are far too too many people on their path for someone else, possibly a parental figure or for what ever other reason. I know to well, how it feels to come home from yes, a job you hate, etc etc etc. Following a dream, is not hard work, it is already staring you straight in the heart and deep within you. Could you see Rocky saying "ahhh, no I don't really want to go another round, although it is toe to toe and only five minutes left until the bell rings"? If he ever had done that, how could he see or know what the outcome would be...EVEN if he did not win that fight. Do you ever see an olympian soaring down the slopes beating everyone's time and then to say, "Ahh it is too cold, I am going to go warm up". Last example I promise. What if you were building a house, a dream home for you family, if you only had 5 days left and the whole house would be complete, would you throw down your hammer and say, I have a back pain...I guess this house can't be finished...? NO none of this would really make much sense if this or that was your true passion and dream. I could see if you were miserable at doing something, you would not want to do it for very long and then find a way to hopefully pursue your dreams.
The question yet still remains, Would you give up on your dream? The answer to me is plain and clear as day..."NO that would mean to give up on life, and YOURSELF.
Thursday, 18 December 2014
Unrequited LOVE-The Most Perfect of all LOVES
A LOVE-Unrequited LOVE, if you have had this type of love, you will too know it is the most perfect type of love. A love that for whatever reason, beyond your control could never be, could never flourish, could never amount to anything, for reasons so different for everyone who has had this type of never flourishing, yet never ending type of love. It happens to many, someone they meet along the way, maybe even almost begin a life with, yet just when that love is suppose to go to the next level-you are torn apart, never to be with that person, even if both have made attempts to relive the romance, it is in the past and there can be no future.
I have had that picture perfect type of love. It was not a love at first site, but a romance that was building throughout a couple of years, first as friends, then as a true romance, to an abrupt ending. An ending, not that we did not love, nor care...BUT because circumstances beyond our control took each of us on a path where we could not look back! Still though the love is there, maybe a hidden place within your heart, though not a yearning or pining away puppy dog love, just a knowing that you want the VERY BEST for that person, the other wants to see you do well, you never speak nor hear from them, but know that they are living the life that they deserve although with out you.
I had that love, it was easy, fun, romantic. Maybe partially because I was very young, not mature enough to have the love grow, we had to part ways. I was going through times that we could not handle as a maturing couple. I was in a state of sickness just being diagnosed with Bipolar. He was on his way to become a Teacher and I was all for that for him. Me, having to think of my wellness and him having to think of his future-WE simply did not have the time to put into a romance...one where I was in and out of the Hospital needing direction and therapy for my illness. Him putting years into his future of always striving to become a great Teacher, that neither one of us could hesitate on our path. I could not put him or our love first-I had to put my health first, He ultimately had to put his future and career first.
We spent Two years together, never arguing, never many disputes, we got along easily, effortlessly. I have fond memories as I Hope He does as well. We would spend the weekends being in our early 20s at our parents cottage in the summer months, going skiing in the winter months on day trips and other trips. We ate out at restaurants, He taught me about culture and how to survive College Life. There were not many things in our way. When I became sick, I lost myself completely and really believed I owed it to myself to Love myself first to regain strength and hope for wellness in my future. Having to say goodbye was difficult! With my failing illness that took Five years to grab a hold of, I had to make time for a proper recovery. He too had to step aside and allow me to recover. We made that decision and in a blink of an eye we were OVER, forever. Although we would gab on the telephone here and there throughout the years, we both knew that we would not be able to regain our love an unrequited of the sorts, that had to be laid to rest. I found out though that He was happy, His life did turn out, he got everything he wanted, a family and a great Teaching Career.
Me, my life turned out very well also, I worked hard to get my illness back in check and have, I found a career meant just for me, that I am passionate about. I have a Home, good friends, A great husband (who has no quams about me writing about my lost perfect love) and a baby on the way that we are gearing up for and are so thrilled and excited to have in our life to give love tenderly over the years. Both of our lives turned out.
Unrequited Love is a love so perfect, that you have to leave behind...BUT in the same sense, you could not or would not want it any other way. It is a Love untouched! To never to be had again. But a love that you respect and an admiration in the other person; although you know in your heart, you can not be with that person, that that love has surpassed. With that type of love, the unrequited kind, there is an acceptance, a feeling of knowing it is OK for you too to spend your lives separate and that is OK! With that love you do not have a feeling of emptiness for not going forth with that romance, or leaving you with a whole in your soul or heart. There is no missing that person, no wanting to be with that person...IT is just that love that was yours and you were glad of it, respect it so much but still know that it could never be. You are left though knowing that you were loved and you too still hold a place in their heart. They too think of you and are glad you are doing well, with or with out them. There is in this type of love, no drama, no questions, no hurt or feelings of bitterness.
With this type of love, leaving a great love in the past, because you know you have to do so, a love so true, almost too true though, that it just can not be, accepting that for what it is LOVE! A love remaining constant over time, knowing that it is OK that this love is not in your cards, that you gave up that love for good reason...A LOVE for yourself.
Unrequited love is the most perfect type of love because it is that untouched. The love I have for my husband is abundant and grows through the tests of time; one that I would never let go of, or ever waver from. It is a working romance, a good love, an unconditional love with respect and nurturing through any storm. Although, I have had this type of unrequited love, I believe it taught me for the first time TO love, to be in love, what love is. I have that love in the past, behind me, though now I know how to LOVE my husband and partner...AND NEVER LET HIM GO as I would never want to part ways with HIM my husband and partner as we grow and as I have grown into our love together...that nothing can conquer, not even UNREQUITED LOVE!
I have had that picture perfect type of love. It was not a love at first site, but a romance that was building throughout a couple of years, first as friends, then as a true romance, to an abrupt ending. An ending, not that we did not love, nor care...BUT because circumstances beyond our control took each of us on a path where we could not look back! Still though the love is there, maybe a hidden place within your heart, though not a yearning or pining away puppy dog love, just a knowing that you want the VERY BEST for that person, the other wants to see you do well, you never speak nor hear from them, but know that they are living the life that they deserve although with out you.
I had that love, it was easy, fun, romantic. Maybe partially because I was very young, not mature enough to have the love grow, we had to part ways. I was going through times that we could not handle as a maturing couple. I was in a state of sickness just being diagnosed with Bipolar. He was on his way to become a Teacher and I was all for that for him. Me, having to think of my wellness and him having to think of his future-WE simply did not have the time to put into a romance...one where I was in and out of the Hospital needing direction and therapy for my illness. Him putting years into his future of always striving to become a great Teacher, that neither one of us could hesitate on our path. I could not put him or our love first-I had to put my health first, He ultimately had to put his future and career first.
We spent Two years together, never arguing, never many disputes, we got along easily, effortlessly. I have fond memories as I Hope He does as well. We would spend the weekends being in our early 20s at our parents cottage in the summer months, going skiing in the winter months on day trips and other trips. We ate out at restaurants, He taught me about culture and how to survive College Life. There were not many things in our way. When I became sick, I lost myself completely and really believed I owed it to myself to Love myself first to regain strength and hope for wellness in my future. Having to say goodbye was difficult! With my failing illness that took Five years to grab a hold of, I had to make time for a proper recovery. He too had to step aside and allow me to recover. We made that decision and in a blink of an eye we were OVER, forever. Although we would gab on the telephone here and there throughout the years, we both knew that we would not be able to regain our love an unrequited of the sorts, that had to be laid to rest. I found out though that He was happy, His life did turn out, he got everything he wanted, a family and a great Teaching Career.
Me, my life turned out very well also, I worked hard to get my illness back in check and have, I found a career meant just for me, that I am passionate about. I have a Home, good friends, A great husband (who has no quams about me writing about my lost perfect love) and a baby on the way that we are gearing up for and are so thrilled and excited to have in our life to give love tenderly over the years. Both of our lives turned out.
Unrequited Love is a love so perfect, that you have to leave behind...BUT in the same sense, you could not or would not want it any other way. It is a Love untouched! To never to be had again. But a love that you respect and an admiration in the other person; although you know in your heart, you can not be with that person, that that love has surpassed. With that type of love, the unrequited kind, there is an acceptance, a feeling of knowing it is OK for you too to spend your lives separate and that is OK! With that love you do not have a feeling of emptiness for not going forth with that romance, or leaving you with a whole in your soul or heart. There is no missing that person, no wanting to be with that person...IT is just that love that was yours and you were glad of it, respect it so much but still know that it could never be. You are left though knowing that you were loved and you too still hold a place in their heart. They too think of you and are glad you are doing well, with or with out them. There is in this type of love, no drama, no questions, no hurt or feelings of bitterness.
With this type of love, leaving a great love in the past, because you know you have to do so, a love so true, almost too true though, that it just can not be, accepting that for what it is LOVE! A love remaining constant over time, knowing that it is OK that this love is not in your cards, that you gave up that love for good reason...A LOVE for yourself.
Unrequited love is the most perfect type of love because it is that untouched. The love I have for my husband is abundant and grows through the tests of time; one that I would never let go of, or ever waver from. It is a working romance, a good love, an unconditional love with respect and nurturing through any storm. Although, I have had this type of unrequited love, I believe it taught me for the first time TO love, to be in love, what love is. I have that love in the past, behind me, though now I know how to LOVE my husband and partner...AND NEVER LET HIM GO as I would never want to part ways with HIM my husband and partner as we grow and as I have grown into our love together...that nothing can conquer, not even UNREQUITED LOVE!
Tuesday, 16 December 2014
Imagine Three Flags of Hope and Peace
I learned of imagery when I was in my Twenties. I was on a path, wanting to learn more about humanity, more about spirituality and more about living in a way of abundance. Through out my life I have always had a knack for imagery. If I was to go to a party, I would think of something I would want to wear...actually the item would really POP into my mind. I would think "Oh that is a cute outfit" and I would imagine it until I would actually see something just like it OR so similar that I would have to purchase it and wear it well. I do this often now and always seem to find things that I can envision in the world surrounding me. It is not hokey pokey, although I know it may read that way. I can give more examples as to how this has worked for me in the past...it just happens-I see something in my minds eye and it appears, either months later or years.
With saying that. I for one am a big believer on World Peace and does not everyone want World Peace? A week ago I happened to visualize every country walking up to a special place in their country or ours and putting a WHITE flag tucked into the ground. This vision also just came to me, just popped up. I did this for as many countries as I could. I imagined the white flag, their flag or ours and a United Flag if you will. Each person of that country putting into the ground Three Flags of Hope and Peace!
I did this a few nights in a row and still plan to do this imagery of hope as I lay to rest. Imagine every country, just calling it quits to War, Just saying "NO, We WON'T allow this any further!"
It popped in my mind to have World Peace and One country for all. Living in a place of fairness, compassion and to have all the fighting OVER for once and for all. To some, I know may think War is needed...and may not agree or find this so far fetched...I though will still continue to Imagine this outbreak of peace for all.
This imagery can be done for anything you feel passionate towards. If someone you know or the many people that are fighting Cancer. Imagine them out and about, smiling, waving and having a great time with life. If one is suffering from this illness, imagine the young and old, playing basketball, or shoveling the driveway happily because they are well enough to do so, or any activity that shows them WELL and past the suffering of this awful disease. Imagine them coming out of the hospital Cancer FREE and what their smile would look like as they thank the nurses and doctors for taking such great care of them.
Do this imagery excersise for anything you would want to see in your own life or others you love or our nations... Imagine a family of need eating every night in abundance, with food on the table, food in the fridge and money in their pockets and bank accounts!!
Imagery is stronger then one recongnises! I have proved it in my own life time and time again, with simple material items that would just show up at random, picture perfect to the design in my mind. Boots that I have imagined, that I never saw before (that I know of) would show up..Thinking to myself "Hey that is what I imagined..."! Then other items would just creep in my minds eye and I would say again, "HEY, that is what I envisioned" I must have done this more then 200 times before, I realized that there must be something to this. So Popping in my mind about FLAGS OF HOPE and PEACE-I will imagine that every night, every moment that allows me and every time I feel upset about the War going on in the World around us.
Do this for anything you like, desire...OR NEED...For the Poor, the Sick, the Weak....Imagine Rich, Well and Strong!!!
With saying that. I for one am a big believer on World Peace and does not everyone want World Peace? A week ago I happened to visualize every country walking up to a special place in their country or ours and putting a WHITE flag tucked into the ground. This vision also just came to me, just popped up. I did this for as many countries as I could. I imagined the white flag, their flag or ours and a United Flag if you will. Each person of that country putting into the ground Three Flags of Hope and Peace!
I did this a few nights in a row and still plan to do this imagery of hope as I lay to rest. Imagine every country, just calling it quits to War, Just saying "NO, We WON'T allow this any further!"
It popped in my mind to have World Peace and One country for all. Living in a place of fairness, compassion and to have all the fighting OVER for once and for all. To some, I know may think War is needed...and may not agree or find this so far fetched...I though will still continue to Imagine this outbreak of peace for all.
This imagery can be done for anything you feel passionate towards. If someone you know or the many people that are fighting Cancer. Imagine them out and about, smiling, waving and having a great time with life. If one is suffering from this illness, imagine the young and old, playing basketball, or shoveling the driveway happily because they are well enough to do so, or any activity that shows them WELL and past the suffering of this awful disease. Imagine them coming out of the hospital Cancer FREE and what their smile would look like as they thank the nurses and doctors for taking such great care of them.
Do this imagery excersise for anything you would want to see in your own life or others you love or our nations... Imagine a family of need eating every night in abundance, with food on the table, food in the fridge and money in their pockets and bank accounts!!
Imagery is stronger then one recongnises! I have proved it in my own life time and time again, with simple material items that would just show up at random, picture perfect to the design in my mind. Boots that I have imagined, that I never saw before (that I know of) would show up..Thinking to myself "Hey that is what I imagined..."! Then other items would just creep in my minds eye and I would say again, "HEY, that is what I envisioned" I must have done this more then 200 times before, I realized that there must be something to this. So Popping in my mind about FLAGS OF HOPE and PEACE-I will imagine that every night, every moment that allows me and every time I feel upset about the War going on in the World around us.
Do this for anything you like, desire...OR NEED...For the Poor, the Sick, the Weak....Imagine Rich, Well and Strong!!!
Sunday, 7 December 2014
Distrust-Mistrust To Trust
When I first met my love match, I was blown off my feet! We spent the summer getting to know each other, sometimes at the beach, walking along on the hiking trails, going for bike rides; you get the idea-a typical lovers dating newlyweds. I was in pure bliss. He kept wanting to see me, so I supposed that was a good sign. His family lived very close to where I lived and we spent a lot of time in the yard, having BBQ'S, filling our days with getting to know each other gatherings. As I got to know his family along the way I could not believe how my once bitten twice shy personality was coming out and bubbling over. The usual, very quiet, don't say a peep, speak only when spoken too girl, was coming out laughing with the gang, sometimes the butt of the jokes; which was awesomely funny to me, and sometimes becoming the life of the party. One day my Love match invited me to his sisters to babysit, I have never been asked to babysit on a date-never meeting the sister before-BUT I jumped all over the chance to meet his family and hang with my new boyfriend. I loved the whole night, although his sisters plans were squashed, I was happy to be in company of good people.
In my last relationships, not knowing if I was coming or going, not saying anything that was really me, or on my mind- I had to ask over the years, "WHY do I feel so compelled by this man in front of me, why does he continue to want to see me, and why is his family so intriguing and interesting to me and in saying that they seemed interested in me. From someone who has been dumped, of course like a lot of men and woman, to being cheated on every other occasion, to someone who was accepted for the first time (Maybe because I was actually being me), why was it that THIS particular relationship was able to survive the course, the ups the downs, the stressful times, the boring times, the fights and arguments and yes, how did I come to such a place of such distrust, mistrust to NOW completely finally Trustful of my Love match, surroundings, place in life and along with that his family.
TIME, that's it, that is the cure! It was rough, to say how distrustful I actually was. There of course were past hurts that I was open and honest about, still it made it no easier to trust. People would say, TIME will allow you to heal, TIME, ya right! My love match and partner stuck through with me the best he could. His family knew of my mistrust but still allowed me to get OVER it. TIME, no amount of talking, rehashing the emotional upset would help but TIME. Now almost Five years together, I can finally say THAT TIME DOES heal all wounds. It is not just a saying, where before I would balk and say oh YA TIME, sure!
I never had a feeling of trust before awkwardly and sadly. Not complete trust, not really with anyone that I came across. So me, not even knowing what trust meant or felt like, how could I feel or be a trusting soul, I never trusted anyone prior. How could I say to my Love partner that I trust him when I never new what trust was. I could be trustworthy in my relationships, but as it seemed no one was totally completely full of Trust actions towards me. I thought it would never get better-the mistrust I felt from years past did not seem to be going anywhere. NOW, five years coming to our fifth Christmas together, I can honestly say- I KNOW nothing else but this love, nothing else but this man, nothing else but the trust I have in him. I can honestly say for the first time I have trust in someone. It did not come easy and was not just TIME alone. I had to practice trusting and I put trust in to GOD in the meantime to see my mis faith in humanity through and to come out the other side. For the last Years, when I did not trust, I turned to GOD, I trusted that HE was listening- that I could trust. I gave him all my fears day after day and HE took care of it.
I had to practice trust, if I was having an anxious mistrusting day, I had to believe that much more that my TRUE love Match would not hurt me, or our LOVE. I had to believe in US and put the faith back in believing in LOVE and destiny which does happen to everyone, everywhere. Practicing trust was not fun, although challenging, I am better for trusting my man, and so is our love connection and so is our home, life together....Now I think, BOY what a waste of time-BUT a good learning tool. To know that I am safe in this world with this man, where my life was so taken over by emotional upsets time and time again-now it is easy to be with me and I know the worse is over. We came through!
I know in relationships, there are huge ups and huge downs....I will enjoy our love, our trust and everything WE have worked for...layering the foundation for the downs that every person, couple, family and life goes through. I am peaceful with my love and trust...I am happy I can finally feel trust, even when it was staring me right in the face. It did make us stronger, now I think learning to trust so late in life is better then never learning trust and love at all. In this I am truly blessed and feel so ridden of the past that there is only now. It is easy for me to look at my LOVE MATCH and think...I Know I am going to be with this man until the end of our days...it is easy to see the love, feel the love and just have the knowing we are here, now until it is time to say goodbye...Now, I am happy, content and in LOVE with the man meant for me-WHO TAUGHT me HOW finally how to TRUST.
In my last relationships, not knowing if I was coming or going, not saying anything that was really me, or on my mind- I had to ask over the years, "WHY do I feel so compelled by this man in front of me, why does he continue to want to see me, and why is his family so intriguing and interesting to me and in saying that they seemed interested in me. From someone who has been dumped, of course like a lot of men and woman, to being cheated on every other occasion, to someone who was accepted for the first time (Maybe because I was actually being me), why was it that THIS particular relationship was able to survive the course, the ups the downs, the stressful times, the boring times, the fights and arguments and yes, how did I come to such a place of such distrust, mistrust to NOW completely finally Trustful of my Love match, surroundings, place in life and along with that his family.
TIME, that's it, that is the cure! It was rough, to say how distrustful I actually was. There of course were past hurts that I was open and honest about, still it made it no easier to trust. People would say, TIME will allow you to heal, TIME, ya right! My love match and partner stuck through with me the best he could. His family knew of my mistrust but still allowed me to get OVER it. TIME, no amount of talking, rehashing the emotional upset would help but TIME. Now almost Five years together, I can finally say THAT TIME DOES heal all wounds. It is not just a saying, where before I would balk and say oh YA TIME, sure!
I never had a feeling of trust before awkwardly and sadly. Not complete trust, not really with anyone that I came across. So me, not even knowing what trust meant or felt like, how could I feel or be a trusting soul, I never trusted anyone prior. How could I say to my Love partner that I trust him when I never new what trust was. I could be trustworthy in my relationships, but as it seemed no one was totally completely full of Trust actions towards me. I thought it would never get better-the mistrust I felt from years past did not seem to be going anywhere. NOW, five years coming to our fifth Christmas together, I can honestly say- I KNOW nothing else but this love, nothing else but this man, nothing else but the trust I have in him. I can honestly say for the first time I have trust in someone. It did not come easy and was not just TIME alone. I had to practice trusting and I put trust in to GOD in the meantime to see my mis faith in humanity through and to come out the other side. For the last Years, when I did not trust, I turned to GOD, I trusted that HE was listening- that I could trust. I gave him all my fears day after day and HE took care of it.
I had to practice trust, if I was having an anxious mistrusting day, I had to believe that much more that my TRUE love Match would not hurt me, or our LOVE. I had to believe in US and put the faith back in believing in LOVE and destiny which does happen to everyone, everywhere. Practicing trust was not fun, although challenging, I am better for trusting my man, and so is our love connection and so is our home, life together....Now I think, BOY what a waste of time-BUT a good learning tool. To know that I am safe in this world with this man, where my life was so taken over by emotional upsets time and time again-now it is easy to be with me and I know the worse is over. We came through!
I know in relationships, there are huge ups and huge downs....I will enjoy our love, our trust and everything WE have worked for...layering the foundation for the downs that every person, couple, family and life goes through. I am peaceful with my love and trust...I am happy I can finally feel trust, even when it was staring me right in the face. It did make us stronger, now I think learning to trust so late in life is better then never learning trust and love at all. In this I am truly blessed and feel so ridden of the past that there is only now. It is easy for me to look at my LOVE MATCH and think...I Know I am going to be with this man until the end of our days...it is easy to see the love, feel the love and just have the knowing we are here, now until it is time to say goodbye...Now, I am happy, content and in LOVE with the man meant for me-WHO TAUGHT me HOW finally how to TRUST.
Tuesday, 2 December 2014
I Want to Be Rich!
My Mother taught me years ago, saying "You may not have a lot of money, but you are rich in such and such a way" It made sense to me, I thought about that a lot through the years. I would buy items again and again, they were not enjoyed for very long, the empty feeling not only in my wallet, but also these material items left me wanting more although feeling LESS. I think the economy, the way it has been over the years has helped in a sense. People are much more money conscious, I do not see people the way I use to, walking through a Mall, with 10 shiny bags full of weekly or monthly purchases....In this economy, it has taught the many to appreciate the smaller things, in so we have learned over and over NOW, to feel Richness in other areas, instead of money alone. Some are blessed with a beautiful family, a close and loving family, or some have many friendships that have a fun, upbeat and encouraging sense to them. These friends and family are their true richness. Some have a richness of a good business sense, with a great track record and contacts that in turn get them from A to B when dealing with their business world-now that small businesses have been on the rise. Richness is something different to everyone. Some have fabulous careers that are their foundation for a great life and a great family and home. My richness is like many in this day and age...I Have everything over and above I have every dreamed of. Maybe not the dream down to a science, but my dream is fruitful to myself and living it each day is a ride I will never get off.
I felt so very rich today, where I use to be able to go out and BUY easily a washer and dryer brand NEW; mind you on credit and over and beyond my means, which really did leave my wallet empty and once I got use to the idea of having a NEW washer/dryer, I would then, shop for the next small or big purchase.
NOW, I spend my Sundays Making crafts and baking for the week. That in itself feeds my soul completly. Never thinking prior I would want to spend or even get joy out of such simplicity. I did purchase a washer and dryer, not paying with credit, but searching for the exact right working laundrey machines with the right price-I ended up feeling SOO Rich in harvesting my sense of ownership and in the end PRIDE. Feeling Rich from within, is a sacrifice to some (or can be). For me it is much more of a journey then an instant pleasant destination. Where it would take me an hour to shop for big ticketed items, the smaller, some what useful, thought out, or hand made items gives me a LIFT in the Richness we all hold within. Being Thankful on the emotionally Rich journey is Fun, Challenging and at the same time, the thought process and learning gives you a much more gratifying sense of abundance. If someone gave me a Million Dollars, sure it would be nice for anyone of us....a year later...That Million, would not change very much..Maybe a boat in the yard, a new home etc. Still, finding true richness in whatever area in your life you are Rich, be truly Prideful and Thankful that you not only have a full fridge, a full life, a loving heart, a giving heart, a nurturing soul...the wisdom of knowing that you ARE actually RICH is a heartfelt blessing that lasts FOREVER.
Monday, 1 December 2014
The Meat and Potatoes of Mental Illness
When I was young, around 13 years old and prior, my friends would be in the school yards-the words of name calling were every where. I don't think a day went by when we didn't say the word "Psycho, or Nuts even Crazy." Though not knowing what these words even meant. Not just saying these words, but using them at random and a drop of a hat; easily telling someone "they are psycho, nuts, crazy". It became apparent in the 80s this was a word that simply slipped from our lips on the play grounds, walking down the street etc. We did not know much about Mental Illness back then, we did not talk about different mental health struggles in schools nor at home. I did not know what Bipolar was, or Schizophrenia was even though we said Schizo a dozen times a week in my younger years, it was much like calling someone a Nob or a Pinhead out of either love or indifference or even hate. I never knew anything about these issues until I started becoming aware and involved in my courses that I took of Child and Youth Worker and Sociology. Now, I don't hear people saying these harsh words-maybe since we know more about them, are taught about them in schools earlier on and at home earlier on.
When I started taking my Sociology and Human Nature courses...I learned a lot. Even learning about them I struggled with understanding how one would feel, relate to the world around us and even over come so many of these illnesses. At the same time as I was studying to become a Sociologist or Child and Youth Worker in the mid 90s...The Taboo subject of Mental Illness, Dysfunctional families etc...were becoming more apparent world wide, as you would see such shows devoted to these issues on talk shows every day, or less...every week. People were becoming knowledgeable, interested and more focused on the grief that comes with these ailments. At that time, I had close friends at my University also taking the courses right along with me....My first year, I barely past....the second year, I was actually coming on top..Finally getting the hang of my subject-criminology, sociology, deviance, etc...I was getting 90s in classes where I use to struggle heavily. My friends and I would study together...party together...live together....get by on a campus budget together...!! It was all coming together...!!
No one said at that time in the 90s and further anymore-"Oh she is nuts, he is schizo". People were not only learning, but becoming empathetic about Mental Health. Right after I got my first grade of 90%, I still could not keep my stress level at bay. The 2 years of University, the stress of wondering if I was even going to make it through, was enough to cause my stress to elevate to a level that I could not handle. I stopped sleeping, stopped making sense and became someone who actually had to deal with a mental health crisis situation. My background, many things intertwined-I would learn later had something to do with the cause of the symptoms. My friends tried everything to help me sleep, they were great friends and guides as this illness seemed to over take me. I ended up leaving school...missing my exams and dealing with a death in the family all while being admitted to the hospital for mental health. It was a crummy time in my life.
Thinking back from the 80s until now, I feel somewhat relieved I grew up in an era where Mental Health was becoming not just a HOT topic, but one where people really did want to understand. It was a frightening time, my family was dealing with it their way, I had to deal with it my way. I don't think people I met along the way put much of a stigma towards me, they all tried to be accepting....BUT I was not able to accept myself as I was! I believe from the poor self image I gave myself, I put the stigma onto me..feeling out of sorts, feeling every mixed emotion, thinking I was the only one! NOW, people are popping up everywhere, who have had dealings with Mental Health....I feel blessed that I did not have to reside in a place in time where Mental Health was dealt with in an improper sense...We have made leaps and bounds..I feel very heartfelt how our society has welcomed these illnesses as part of our culture.
Having the world psycho being past around on the school yards is history...as we were young, we did not even know the meaning...in a sense back then it was like saying to someone "YOUR hair is green". Made no difference, our hair wasn't green, so we moved on and laughed and played. I always knew I was different, I did! I did not know what it was but I remember looking at myself in grade 2 thinking, well I am the same size as most of my classmates, I have the same clothes..I am kinda average and later pretty typical..?? Never knowing why I felt something was wrong....I was just me, I did not really know what nuts meant back then...so even if someone did call me nuts...I would not know the harshness of the reality of that word.
The stigma I hear many times is worse then the illness....for me I can agree...!! Going to work in a full blown episode kinda feels like a fog and type of dream that no one knows what is going on with you?? So, for many times, I felt brushed aside, not able to cope like others at my work place, not able to talk about it openly with employers...who would want someone that may end up in the hospital for stress relief. So in that, I feel now, people are more accepting. I was lucky to have the guidance of my Grand Mother, My Nanny, who did hide for years in the 40s and 50s not telling a soul how she felt, or if she was ill...she kept that secret..very well...I could not!
Now, people talk openly about anxiety, depression and so on. People don't have to become emberrased or even ridiculed to the state of isolation or worse. I am proud of our society for allowing such consideration on these subjects, feel poorly of course for being part of the 80s where we yelled out these harsh words on the school yards, but very glad that those days are over..and we live in a country that is so diverse that it is even accepting of the ill and weak, so that "they can become strong minded and well, even HAPPY and a part of the whole" Happy Health to all!
When I started taking my Sociology and Human Nature courses...I learned a lot. Even learning about them I struggled with understanding how one would feel, relate to the world around us and even over come so many of these illnesses. At the same time as I was studying to become a Sociologist or Child and Youth Worker in the mid 90s...The Taboo subject of Mental Illness, Dysfunctional families etc...were becoming more apparent world wide, as you would see such shows devoted to these issues on talk shows every day, or less...every week. People were becoming knowledgeable, interested and more focused on the grief that comes with these ailments. At that time, I had close friends at my University also taking the courses right along with me....My first year, I barely past....the second year, I was actually coming on top..Finally getting the hang of my subject-criminology, sociology, deviance, etc...I was getting 90s in classes where I use to struggle heavily. My friends and I would study together...party together...live together....get by on a campus budget together...!! It was all coming together...!!
No one said at that time in the 90s and further anymore-"Oh she is nuts, he is schizo". People were not only learning, but becoming empathetic about Mental Health. Right after I got my first grade of 90%, I still could not keep my stress level at bay. The 2 years of University, the stress of wondering if I was even going to make it through, was enough to cause my stress to elevate to a level that I could not handle. I stopped sleeping, stopped making sense and became someone who actually had to deal with a mental health crisis situation. My background, many things intertwined-I would learn later had something to do with the cause of the symptoms. My friends tried everything to help me sleep, they were great friends and guides as this illness seemed to over take me. I ended up leaving school...missing my exams and dealing with a death in the family all while being admitted to the hospital for mental health. It was a crummy time in my life.
Thinking back from the 80s until now, I feel somewhat relieved I grew up in an era where Mental Health was becoming not just a HOT topic, but one where people really did want to understand. It was a frightening time, my family was dealing with it their way, I had to deal with it my way. I don't think people I met along the way put much of a stigma towards me, they all tried to be accepting....BUT I was not able to accept myself as I was! I believe from the poor self image I gave myself, I put the stigma onto me..feeling out of sorts, feeling every mixed emotion, thinking I was the only one! NOW, people are popping up everywhere, who have had dealings with Mental Health....I feel blessed that I did not have to reside in a place in time where Mental Health was dealt with in an improper sense...We have made leaps and bounds..I feel very heartfelt how our society has welcomed these illnesses as part of our culture.
Having the world psycho being past around on the school yards is history...as we were young, we did not even know the meaning...in a sense back then it was like saying to someone "YOUR hair is green". Made no difference, our hair wasn't green, so we moved on and laughed and played. I always knew I was different, I did! I did not know what it was but I remember looking at myself in grade 2 thinking, well I am the same size as most of my classmates, I have the same clothes..I am kinda average and later pretty typical..?? Never knowing why I felt something was wrong....I was just me, I did not really know what nuts meant back then...so even if someone did call me nuts...I would not know the harshness of the reality of that word.
The stigma I hear many times is worse then the illness....for me I can agree...!! Going to work in a full blown episode kinda feels like a fog and type of dream that no one knows what is going on with you?? So, for many times, I felt brushed aside, not able to cope like others at my work place, not able to talk about it openly with employers...who would want someone that may end up in the hospital for stress relief. So in that, I feel now, people are more accepting. I was lucky to have the guidance of my Grand Mother, My Nanny, who did hide for years in the 40s and 50s not telling a soul how she felt, or if she was ill...she kept that secret..very well...I could not!
Now, people talk openly about anxiety, depression and so on. People don't have to become emberrased or even ridiculed to the state of isolation or worse. I am proud of our society for allowing such consideration on these subjects, feel poorly of course for being part of the 80s where we yelled out these harsh words on the school yards, but very glad that those days are over..and we live in a country that is so diverse that it is even accepting of the ill and weak, so that "they can become strong minded and well, even HAPPY and a part of the whole" Happy Health to all!
Thursday, 20 November 2014
My Rut Kicker
I had quite the day yesterday as all was "seeming" to fall apart. I was not ready for this "type" of day. Call it what you will, but the day was slipping away and I was finding myself in a RUT, for whatever reasons. In my dealings with my illness, bipolar and anxiety...I really had to think my way through as to HOW to conquer the beginning of what I know to be as a RUT! Which could have gone two or three ways...if you are a sufferer of any of these mental ailments, you may know what I mean. SIMPLY- YOU REALLY CAN'T AFFORD TO SINK, for whatever reason...and certainly I was not willing to sink so close to Christmas and also now that I am 4 mos. Pregnant, I did not want to deal with any added stress...as a soon to be Mom, I am learning more and more how to really put my practices of dealing with anxiety etc. to good use...Things that I use to fret about; now, I have had to learn to just acknowledge shortcomings, or stress and move on with caring for Me, Our Baby, My Husband and Partner and Our Home. So, with that saying, it has never been more relevant, to unwind, nurture myself- in turn our baby, eat right, etc.
So the day was moving along, a little drab but not complaining. Then it was like I was up against a wall, a sort of triggering effect and I had to really absorb my surroundings, lean on my instincts and rise above the rough waters...before it became a RUT situation. I had an issue, dealt with it, am far better then I was when it hit-So as the day was unraveling...I HAD TO THINK QUICK! "What Would Make This Day Enjoyable"? "What Can I do, In "My" Control, That Could Turn a Rather Rutty Situation AROUND"? So then I went to it...!!!
Expecting our first baby, being 38 and My Husband 42-although I really do not believe age has a HUGE impact on things...some things...not all..SO, I decided to WRITE a MURAL on our Nursery Room Wall...
I saw it quickly on FACEBOOK...gathered a pen and paper..and GOT BUSY...My Step Father always said...GET BUSY...which I do often...NOW, creating a room and space for our child, is quite exciting and I find nurturing of myself, the baby-as well as grounding. SO there were these words and phrases that was posted on Facebook...I wrote them down and just as quick as I saw it, I imagined the saying and phrase on our babies walls for years to come..So I grabbed my husbands art material, paint, brushes, pallet etc. And worked nicely along adding a touch of fun and love to our babies room....
It took about an hour...I was tired after..BUT, Found that I now have a "NEW RUT KICKER". Basically, I kicked the rut butt!! My husband was a little caught off guard, but did not hesitate and let me do my thing...In the end..He really liked it...I forgot about whatever was ailing me, or anything that was on my mind...The Rut in the corners learking were forgotten and I had a GRAND sleep.
An outlet...it is really great to have an outlet..and this outlet you have chosen can and will change from year to year...it can be music, sing out loud, go for a walk, call a friend, be creative, read the paper even to get your mind on something else...IT may change over time...what did or does the trick now to kick your ruts butt, may not be the same in Ten years...You really have to adjust to what your needs are and listen to your body.
So just as the day started it ended...BUT now, with a quiet sense of ease as I walk by our Nursery which now has its own flair and many artistic touches that we both have created...I was not sure what to do at Ten Oclock at night when I was about to turn out the lights and was very tired...BUT thought...IF I leave this stressor dangling, then I am NOT going to get out of this RUT quick and painlessly...So I put my paint to the task and created something out of LOVE and NOTHING at ALL..as the song goes..
Simply, find an outlet...a good one...!! Doesn't have to be tricky, just something that is just for you...For years I journalised, then walked trails and hiked to get off my steam and put my attention back to a better level...there have been many things that I had to do to shift my focus and become whole..again...Find an outlet that speaks to you, guitar maybe, learning a new language....anything PRO ACTIVE and something you enjoy.
If you want to get out of that silly old rut, then simply kick it's butt by tending to yourself and do something FUN, ENJOYABLE, CREATIVE, STIMULATING...practice that and you will be able to go to bed soundly and whatever the issue/problem was most likely would be gone once the sun touches your face in the morning...Do this over and over..Until it becomes habit for you...where you actually say to yourself...not, OH I AM IN A RUT...BUT say...I am going to paint the furniture now..and off you go...!!! Enjoy yourself and others...be good to yourself and then others...smile often, sing often, dance often...JUMP around often...LOVE ALWAYS..and you can never go wrong...!!! If you are doing something from a pure heart, it will manifest and stay with you and radiate from you and onto others..what is greater then that...MORE people Laughing, MORE people Singing, MORE people HUGGING...MORE people Reaching OUT...and more people NOT in a rut for days, months, years...twirling about in an awful state of emotions...OUTLETS, do exactly that...They LET IT ALLLL OUT!
So the day was moving along, a little drab but not complaining. Then it was like I was up against a wall, a sort of triggering effect and I had to really absorb my surroundings, lean on my instincts and rise above the rough waters...before it became a RUT situation. I had an issue, dealt with it, am far better then I was when it hit-So as the day was unraveling...I HAD TO THINK QUICK! "What Would Make This Day Enjoyable"? "What Can I do, In "My" Control, That Could Turn a Rather Rutty Situation AROUND"? So then I went to it...!!!
Expecting our first baby, being 38 and My Husband 42-although I really do not believe age has a HUGE impact on things...some things...not all..SO, I decided to WRITE a MURAL on our Nursery Room Wall...
I saw it quickly on FACEBOOK...gathered a pen and paper..and GOT BUSY...My Step Father always said...GET BUSY...which I do often...NOW, creating a room and space for our child, is quite exciting and I find nurturing of myself, the baby-as well as grounding. SO there were these words and phrases that was posted on Facebook...I wrote them down and just as quick as I saw it, I imagined the saying and phrase on our babies walls for years to come..So I grabbed my husbands art material, paint, brushes, pallet etc. And worked nicely along adding a touch of fun and love to our babies room....
It took about an hour...I was tired after..BUT, Found that I now have a "NEW RUT KICKER". Basically, I kicked the rut butt!! My husband was a little caught off guard, but did not hesitate and let me do my thing...In the end..He really liked it...I forgot about whatever was ailing me, or anything that was on my mind...The Rut in the corners learking were forgotten and I had a GRAND sleep.
An outlet...it is really great to have an outlet..and this outlet you have chosen can and will change from year to year...it can be music, sing out loud, go for a walk, call a friend, be creative, read the paper even to get your mind on something else...IT may change over time...what did or does the trick now to kick your ruts butt, may not be the same in Ten years...You really have to adjust to what your needs are and listen to your body.
So just as the day started it ended...BUT now, with a quiet sense of ease as I walk by our Nursery which now has its own flair and many artistic touches that we both have created...I was not sure what to do at Ten Oclock at night when I was about to turn out the lights and was very tired...BUT thought...IF I leave this stressor dangling, then I am NOT going to get out of this RUT quick and painlessly...So I put my paint to the task and created something out of LOVE and NOTHING at ALL..as the song goes..
Simply, find an outlet...a good one...!! Doesn't have to be tricky, just something that is just for you...For years I journalised, then walked trails and hiked to get off my steam and put my attention back to a better level...there have been many things that I had to do to shift my focus and become whole..again...Find an outlet that speaks to you, guitar maybe, learning a new language....anything PRO ACTIVE and something you enjoy.
If you want to get out of that silly old rut, then simply kick it's butt by tending to yourself and do something FUN, ENJOYABLE, CREATIVE, STIMULATING...practice that and you will be able to go to bed soundly and whatever the issue/problem was most likely would be gone once the sun touches your face in the morning...Do this over and over..Until it becomes habit for you...where you actually say to yourself...not, OH I AM IN A RUT...BUT say...I am going to paint the furniture now..and off you go...!!! Enjoy yourself and others...be good to yourself and then others...smile often, sing often, dance often...JUMP around often...LOVE ALWAYS..and you can never go wrong...!!! If you are doing something from a pure heart, it will manifest and stay with you and radiate from you and onto others..what is greater then that...MORE people Laughing, MORE people Singing, MORE people HUGGING...MORE people Reaching OUT...and more people NOT in a rut for days, months, years...twirling about in an awful state of emotions...OUTLETS, do exactly that...They LET IT ALLLL OUT!
Saturday, 15 November 2014
With Turbulence Comes Many Miracles
One of my very favourite action movie there is a saying at the beginning which always stuck with me; written by Quinton Terrentino; starring Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette. I remember the beginning to this movie and always think of it in my darkest hours. Simply put "Sometimes it goes one way, sometimes just sometimes, it goes the other way too". I remember that very saying since I was Seventeen about to make my way into early adulthood. My Mother too always says, what goes up must come down and what goes down must come up...so with these and many other lessons in life; I grip to this knowledge and spirit though turbulent times, knowing this I have been able to steer my course always knowing that I am protected and if I reach out and know that to this there is good times just around the corner...then I can believe I can get through these times to allow the miracles to happen.
It was a very up and down week, I must say...we lost our precious cat and a few other blemishes. We though, did not become hasty...did not blame, create chaos, or choose unhealthy means of dealing with life. Both knowing, my husband and I, that it will be all clear winds, happy hearts and miracles in our journey. Learning these lessons together, both my partner and I-we have come to know a great deal about ourselves and Life. Life has obstacles, it does- I primarily use to thrive many years ago off of these obstacles until I turned them into something greater then myself. Turning them into a mountain so big that I felt it was swallowing me whole. Time and time again, I would pray, cleanse, regroup and the "Problem" was solved and either I learned something valuable about myself or Life as I knew it, grew from it-OR a miracle would occur...something so out of the ordinary that I would have to shake my head in disbelief. Thinking to myself..well, if I had not endured that part of my journey, then I never would have seen this, met this person, found this, believed this and so on. After the storm came clarity and an all knowing in the miracles of the Universe and a belief in me that if I went through one storm, I can certainly entail another...although did not go around wishing for crazy, hectic days...but became less fearful and more accepting that these days will pass.
My husband too I believe has a higher belief in so many things because of what his storms stirred in him and how he handled them, without the sinking feeling that he was being swallowed up. Instead he to, gained more insight, used his creativity and also began to see the magic and beauty of life when he too had miracles happen everyday.
When I let go of something, or when I have to adjust to a situation or problem solve...most times...I make a mental NOTE, yes and actual mental NOTE to the universe and to HIM...IN my mind I write out what my problem is...for example...
"This is my problem, I feel that I am stuck in my work place. I am not happy at my work this is how I feel about it, it makes me feel _____________ I need help with this, I am giving this problem to you GOD, I do not know how to deal with it YOU DO..Please take care of this for me." TY..TY..TY
So yes, I write a note say whatever I need to say...crumple it UP and mentally vision that I am throwing it in the air, I picture the WORLD in a globe sense and leave it to the GODS to take care of for me. I have done this for more then TEN years...and every time...THINGS LOOK sooo different the next day...Either, my issue was taken care of, or I learned how to handle a situation better...there was an answer for me...or the problem ultimatly vanished..and Many, Many times a miracle would occur. For me it was such a great release, as soon as I threw the crumpled up note upstairs...I did not think, worry, fret or become dismayed. Something would soon take place that nipped the turbulence in the bud and I saw the light of day.
There are miracles everyday and you better believe they will definatly happen to you, no one is exempted from miracles. A simple phone conversation with a loved one can give you such a Grand idea and the wheels spin you into a new direction, with a new outlook. You could meet someone someday, and they serve meaning in your life. Something in everyday there is a miracle. So maybe not everyday is a theme park day, not every day is a circus day..BUT not every day is a JUNGLE either.
There is something good in everyday. Today I called a dear friend, we had a conversation and she told me about her many miracles...That very light brought me to a very FINE day, full of life, light and energy. With one single phone call, any turbulence lingering was vanished...IT became such a day of LOVE and many blessing and YES of course miracles! One lady, talking of her ventures and happiness, led me to have a day that was full of everyday miracles and everyday blessings. BELIEVE!
It was a very up and down week, I must say...we lost our precious cat and a few other blemishes. We though, did not become hasty...did not blame, create chaos, or choose unhealthy means of dealing with life. Both knowing, my husband and I, that it will be all clear winds, happy hearts and miracles in our journey. Learning these lessons together, both my partner and I-we have come to know a great deal about ourselves and Life. Life has obstacles, it does- I primarily use to thrive many years ago off of these obstacles until I turned them into something greater then myself. Turning them into a mountain so big that I felt it was swallowing me whole. Time and time again, I would pray, cleanse, regroup and the "Problem" was solved and either I learned something valuable about myself or Life as I knew it, grew from it-OR a miracle would occur...something so out of the ordinary that I would have to shake my head in disbelief. Thinking to myself..well, if I had not endured that part of my journey, then I never would have seen this, met this person, found this, believed this and so on. After the storm came clarity and an all knowing in the miracles of the Universe and a belief in me that if I went through one storm, I can certainly entail another...although did not go around wishing for crazy, hectic days...but became less fearful and more accepting that these days will pass.
My husband too I believe has a higher belief in so many things because of what his storms stirred in him and how he handled them, without the sinking feeling that he was being swallowed up. Instead he to, gained more insight, used his creativity and also began to see the magic and beauty of life when he too had miracles happen everyday.
When I let go of something, or when I have to adjust to a situation or problem solve...most times...I make a mental NOTE, yes and actual mental NOTE to the universe and to HIM...IN my mind I write out what my problem is...for example...
"This is my problem, I feel that I am stuck in my work place. I am not happy at my work this is how I feel about it, it makes me feel _____________ I need help with this, I am giving this problem to you GOD, I do not know how to deal with it YOU DO..Please take care of this for me." TY..TY..TY
So yes, I write a note say whatever I need to say...crumple it UP and mentally vision that I am throwing it in the air, I picture the WORLD in a globe sense and leave it to the GODS to take care of for me. I have done this for more then TEN years...and every time...THINGS LOOK sooo different the next day...Either, my issue was taken care of, or I learned how to handle a situation better...there was an answer for me...or the problem ultimatly vanished..and Many, Many times a miracle would occur. For me it was such a great release, as soon as I threw the crumpled up note upstairs...I did not think, worry, fret or become dismayed. Something would soon take place that nipped the turbulence in the bud and I saw the light of day.
There are miracles everyday and you better believe they will definatly happen to you, no one is exempted from miracles. A simple phone conversation with a loved one can give you such a Grand idea and the wheels spin you into a new direction, with a new outlook. You could meet someone someday, and they serve meaning in your life. Something in everyday there is a miracle. So maybe not everyday is a theme park day, not every day is a circus day..BUT not every day is a JUNGLE either.
There is something good in everyday. Today I called a dear friend, we had a conversation and she told me about her many miracles...That very light brought me to a very FINE day, full of life, light and energy. With one single phone call, any turbulence lingering was vanished...IT became such a day of LOVE and many blessing and YES of course miracles! One lady, talking of her ventures and happiness, led me to have a day that was full of everyday miracles and everyday blessings. BELIEVE!
Thursday, 13 November 2014
My Parents Had to Let Me Go-So That I Could Look UP!
I have very loving Parents, have very loving Aunts and a Brother like no other. I was Falling, cracking through the surface for many years. My Family was torn when they learned about me having a chemical imbalance. You may have read, I was 21 dropped out of higher education twice, hospitalized, going from job to job only lasting at most 2 years. I went to group counseling, and individual counseling- My Loving parents also went to group counseling in order to help them help me and in the processes help themselves.
Still though, I had all the help in the world. Doctors were supportive, my Family always there to pick up the phone, pick up the pieces, talk me through things almost every single day. I still worked...ended up taking two courses in which I did finish, trying to stay on track with the medication cost was overwhelming. I needed a really good education in order to pay this fee every month. Still though, I was clearly not healthy. I was then 25 and drinking, binge drinking off and on. Some years, I wouldn't touch it, I was sensitive to it, three drinks and it would throw my nervous system way off and mixing medication with that is just a terrible idea. Through the years though, my Family, Brother, Aunts, Mother, Father were always there for sound advise, fix my troubles-take care of all that was haywire in my life, over and over...They knew after far to long that they just had to STOP saving me, rescuing me from sometimes dangerous situations. AND letting go, was far harder on them then it was for me.
I wanted them to let go, I knew deep down just as much as they did, this pattern we created was not working. So being 33 years old, they all stopped! They had to and I knew it! Although we would still talk to each other, they were not going to jump in their car, racing to every pitfall and slip that I endured. So with them letting me GO...THE ONLY WAY TO LOOK WAS UP! My father told me for years, your crises and your misgivings will build character. Which I thought..Great, I would love to have some character. AND yes, I would love to LOOK UP!
I was use to falling into a whole, but someone was always there to reach for me. So Proudly, I say they let me sink further and further. They had to watch me sink, not guide me up. In this I learned again Proudly, to stand on my own, my VERY OWN! I ended up with NOTHING, not a dime, not a house, everything GONE. We still talked, almost everyday, they just simply asked "How are you doing" NO advise, no should haves or would haves...Just I Love you, be safe!
So now, years later...I must say, although a late start in adulthood and independence, I am better for it. I now am able to say freely, I take care of myself...Rent is always paid, bills are always paid, I have a fun and interesting career that I get a lot of fulfillment from, I met and fell in love with my Partner, We have a happy home with great neighbours- To this I say Finally...My Partner too has a thriving and very fun career...both of us in the arts. I have close ties with my family, near or far...I am not shy or awkward in social settings. When I met my husband I could not even go sit in a restaurant with out feeling ashamed or a sense of discomfort, now I am able, effortlessly-I have many things that I always wanted.
There are so many things I overcame, battles I had to fight, things I had to learn about myself and the world around me. With my Parents and family LETTING GO of my hand, letting me slip through the cracks, I got over many wounds, healed, began to be able to laugh again; even at myself...I was not afraid any longer...!! I learned to be comfortable in my own skin.
Building up from which I fell was the fun part...everyday learning something new about what makes me "tick". Now with a loving family who I am not a burden to, but a contributing part of the whole, they do not have to feel guilty, feel that they have to run to my rescue, they too have overcome their fear of letting me run my course. Them doing that simple act I was able TO BE present, clear, able, sound, full of life and energy....love and FINALLY HAPPY, CONTENT, STRENGTHENED, COMPASSIONATE, and INDEPENDENT...Letting me go, giving me a chance to breath on my own...WAS the best decision WE made consciously as WE knew it would NOT work any other way. Now there visits are frequent, are talks are fun and light hearted, I am there for them, but no one is a rescuer for each other. We show love, give hugs, and stay in touch. They are most likely very HAPPY that I have hit my last sink hole and I know very thrilled that I have a partner who is just as happy as me. We now have a family, with our first arrival in May, a place to call HOME, and family who is able to enjoy our happiness, and love for one another. Thank YOU to my family, for knowing WHEN to let me fall. They did not just teach me and guide me how to live...THEY let me LIVE! xoxo
I believe it was the late Robyn Williams who said...When nothing else works, whats left is what is RIGHT!
Still though, I had all the help in the world. Doctors were supportive, my Family always there to pick up the phone, pick up the pieces, talk me through things almost every single day. I still worked...ended up taking two courses in which I did finish, trying to stay on track with the medication cost was overwhelming. I needed a really good education in order to pay this fee every month. Still though, I was clearly not healthy. I was then 25 and drinking, binge drinking off and on. Some years, I wouldn't touch it, I was sensitive to it, three drinks and it would throw my nervous system way off and mixing medication with that is just a terrible idea. Through the years though, my Family, Brother, Aunts, Mother, Father were always there for sound advise, fix my troubles-take care of all that was haywire in my life, over and over...They knew after far to long that they just had to STOP saving me, rescuing me from sometimes dangerous situations. AND letting go, was far harder on them then it was for me.
I wanted them to let go, I knew deep down just as much as they did, this pattern we created was not working. So being 33 years old, they all stopped! They had to and I knew it! Although we would still talk to each other, they were not going to jump in their car, racing to every pitfall and slip that I endured. So with them letting me GO...THE ONLY WAY TO LOOK WAS UP! My father told me for years, your crises and your misgivings will build character. Which I thought..Great, I would love to have some character. AND yes, I would love to LOOK UP!
I was use to falling into a whole, but someone was always there to reach for me. So Proudly, I say they let me sink further and further. They had to watch me sink, not guide me up. In this I learned again Proudly, to stand on my own, my VERY OWN! I ended up with NOTHING, not a dime, not a house, everything GONE. We still talked, almost everyday, they just simply asked "How are you doing" NO advise, no should haves or would haves...Just I Love you, be safe!
So now, years later...I must say, although a late start in adulthood and independence, I am better for it. I now am able to say freely, I take care of myself...Rent is always paid, bills are always paid, I have a fun and interesting career that I get a lot of fulfillment from, I met and fell in love with my Partner, We have a happy home with great neighbours- To this I say Finally...My Partner too has a thriving and very fun career...both of us in the arts. I have close ties with my family, near or far...I am not shy or awkward in social settings. When I met my husband I could not even go sit in a restaurant with out feeling ashamed or a sense of discomfort, now I am able, effortlessly-I have many things that I always wanted.
There are so many things I overcame, battles I had to fight, things I had to learn about myself and the world around me. With my Parents and family LETTING GO of my hand, letting me slip through the cracks, I got over many wounds, healed, began to be able to laugh again; even at myself...I was not afraid any longer...!! I learned to be comfortable in my own skin.
Building up from which I fell was the fun part...everyday learning something new about what makes me "tick". Now with a loving family who I am not a burden to, but a contributing part of the whole, they do not have to feel guilty, feel that they have to run to my rescue, they too have overcome their fear of letting me run my course. Them doing that simple act I was able TO BE present, clear, able, sound, full of life and energy....love and FINALLY HAPPY, CONTENT, STRENGTHENED, COMPASSIONATE, and INDEPENDENT...Letting me go, giving me a chance to breath on my own...WAS the best decision WE made consciously as WE knew it would NOT work any other way. Now there visits are frequent, are talks are fun and light hearted, I am there for them, but no one is a rescuer for each other. We show love, give hugs, and stay in touch. They are most likely very HAPPY that I have hit my last sink hole and I know very thrilled that I have a partner who is just as happy as me. We now have a family, with our first arrival in May, a place to call HOME, and family who is able to enjoy our happiness, and love for one another. Thank YOU to my family, for knowing WHEN to let me fall. They did not just teach me and guide me how to live...THEY let me LIVE! xoxo
I believe it was the late Robyn Williams who said...When nothing else works, whats left is what is RIGHT!
Tuesday, 11 November 2014
Reflection in a Day- NOVEMBER 11th
Days come and days go, we do the best we can. Some days we challenge ourselves to the suns glow trying to get over humps and bumps-lucky to only come out with a tiny scratch...and GOOD on US! Some days are easy, you sail by them like the blowing wind. Some days, you wake up and simply put; it is not what you bargained for. You can go to sleep gently the night before-Thanking and being thankful to the Heavens above and wake up to a down poor of either gentle rain and stormy weather.
For the last week, I took a pause-which I rarely do. I never was one to think back on my journey to much growing up...just went with it, went for it, moving faster and faster everyday-People would say SLOW DOWN you are always in a rush...and I was...Until I learned the sense of solitude, rest and reflection.
I lay my head at night, each and every night, talking out loud YES outloud to my God, My Husband and Partner always asking-who are you talking to, I say HIM or My Nanny whom I know is my guardian angel..others who have passed, but I still do feel such a connection and do continue with the relationship even after this life has parted us...They have always seen me through and I know always will...personally I begin by being thankful...for the loves in my life, the love I can generate for myself from within, with HIM who has showed me how to love myself. I pray for the things I feel are needed either with our lives, or others whom have touched me, and always my family and if it was a "bad" day-term used very lightly because as I said days come and days go... I Lay there talking away to HIM for hours...and then reflect on my days beginning, middle and end. In this there is peace, harmony and love I feel surrounding me always.
Today was not a great start to November 11th and how can it be a good day, when you YES feel proud of our country, stand by our soldiers, those who HAD to fight for whatever reason that there culture or our culture needed them to. Today on November 11th we woke up to our very old Cat ruby, who lived with us a long time passing away as well. I looked at her struggle in the end and it shook me. Seeing her fight for her life as I saw she was deteriorating broke our hearts as we woke up this morning and not only said Goodbye to our family member our Cat, but also to the soldiers, from whatever part of the Globe you come from...IT is not easy on any one of them or us-however you like to see it. What I am proud of is our country, we are quietly proud, with a conviction for life and love like no other. We enjoy our peace, the allowance to live each day as they go by in any which way we want for ourselves.
I allowed myself breathing room for the last week, a tranquil moment for myself and my family at home. Living the days, not working-searching for my next big hit, but reflecting on my journey-personally...WITHIN this there is growth, a sense of wonderment, putting pieces of your life or mine in order, to become at peace with all that you are and all that is human is a grieving process as well as a growing process. Knowing that in my reflections I not only think critically about how the day started and how it ended...is a process in my journey. Today as it was a sad Day this Rememberance Day and as we put our cat to rest. I had to fight through the day, to make me ONE again, whole again...Peaceful again.
I ate, did what I needed to do, errands, life things....Then we rested, nurtured ourselves, my partner in his ways and me in mine. We slept, rejouvenated, recharged. It is the end of a year in a few short months a time for reflection, to make you better thus in the end the world better. The tranquility and peace I found this last week, was challenging....People sometimes challenge your peaceful nature...sometimes challenge your love of life...the way you live it, your own beliefs. I took it in stride and from waking up in tears, to gathering my thoughts and heart and mind...I was able to RELIFT my soul! NO doctor, nurse or caregiver can give you as much strength for the challenging days as you can yourself. We are all in it together...Sure I vow peace each and everytime...BUT when challenged by this life, I will honour myself, my nature, who I am...who HE intends for me to be, for the ANGELS walking with me, pushing me to go further and further along. TO BE ME...Reflection is my form of understanding ME in this world, when there still is War's being faught, still soldiers standing up, having to leave their homes and families a luxury that we have and know nothing what it is like....
I only know my journey, am PROUD to say I know myself and do love myself...love our country and our world. There is a part of a soldier in each and everyone of us to get up and do it each and everyday. Some who are fighting for there lives because of sickness...Be glad for the glowing Sun, even if the rain poors down days later...Be glad for the snow, making us stronger survivors in this world. Be Brave enough to stand up for WHO you are, WHO HE wanted and intended you to be and don't say sorry to anyone who challenges your charactor- only HE knows what battles you are fighting and what fires you blow out daily just to live in peace. Be reflective on your journey, Learning all the time, new ways to BE, LOVE and CHERISH.
Be peaceful all the time, be loving all the time-IF you speak your truth then you have done know wrong.
See you Soon Ruby you gentle and precious soul...See you soon to the soldiers who faught for US to be peaceful and free...and See you sometime- to all the angels watching over us, giving us hope, love and a gentle knowing that you are all there for us in each and every way ALWAYS..Good night to our soldiers who are still fighting, Sleep well to the ones who are fighting for their lives. IN this days reflection, I say Thank YOU!
For the last week, I took a pause-which I rarely do. I never was one to think back on my journey to much growing up...just went with it, went for it, moving faster and faster everyday-People would say SLOW DOWN you are always in a rush...and I was...Until I learned the sense of solitude, rest and reflection.
I lay my head at night, each and every night, talking out loud YES outloud to my God, My Husband and Partner always asking-who are you talking to, I say HIM or My Nanny whom I know is my guardian angel..others who have passed, but I still do feel such a connection and do continue with the relationship even after this life has parted us...They have always seen me through and I know always will...personally I begin by being thankful...for the loves in my life, the love I can generate for myself from within, with HIM who has showed me how to love myself. I pray for the things I feel are needed either with our lives, or others whom have touched me, and always my family and if it was a "bad" day-term used very lightly because as I said days come and days go... I Lay there talking away to HIM for hours...and then reflect on my days beginning, middle and end. In this there is peace, harmony and love I feel surrounding me always.
Today was not a great start to November 11th and how can it be a good day, when you YES feel proud of our country, stand by our soldiers, those who HAD to fight for whatever reason that there culture or our culture needed them to. Today on November 11th we woke up to our very old Cat ruby, who lived with us a long time passing away as well. I looked at her struggle in the end and it shook me. Seeing her fight for her life as I saw she was deteriorating broke our hearts as we woke up this morning and not only said Goodbye to our family member our Cat, but also to the soldiers, from whatever part of the Globe you come from...IT is not easy on any one of them or us-however you like to see it. What I am proud of is our country, we are quietly proud, with a conviction for life and love like no other. We enjoy our peace, the allowance to live each day as they go by in any which way we want for ourselves.
I allowed myself breathing room for the last week, a tranquil moment for myself and my family at home. Living the days, not working-searching for my next big hit, but reflecting on my journey-personally...WITHIN this there is growth, a sense of wonderment, putting pieces of your life or mine in order, to become at peace with all that you are and all that is human is a grieving process as well as a growing process. Knowing that in my reflections I not only think critically about how the day started and how it ended...is a process in my journey. Today as it was a sad Day this Rememberance Day and as we put our cat to rest. I had to fight through the day, to make me ONE again, whole again...Peaceful again.
I ate, did what I needed to do, errands, life things....Then we rested, nurtured ourselves, my partner in his ways and me in mine. We slept, rejouvenated, recharged. It is the end of a year in a few short months a time for reflection, to make you better thus in the end the world better. The tranquility and peace I found this last week, was challenging....People sometimes challenge your peaceful nature...sometimes challenge your love of life...the way you live it, your own beliefs. I took it in stride and from waking up in tears, to gathering my thoughts and heart and mind...I was able to RELIFT my soul! NO doctor, nurse or caregiver can give you as much strength for the challenging days as you can yourself. We are all in it together...Sure I vow peace each and everytime...BUT when challenged by this life, I will honour myself, my nature, who I am...who HE intends for me to be, for the ANGELS walking with me, pushing me to go further and further along. TO BE ME...Reflection is my form of understanding ME in this world, when there still is War's being faught, still soldiers standing up, having to leave their homes and families a luxury that we have and know nothing what it is like....
I only know my journey, am PROUD to say I know myself and do love myself...love our country and our world. There is a part of a soldier in each and everyone of us to get up and do it each and everyday. Some who are fighting for there lives because of sickness...Be glad for the glowing Sun, even if the rain poors down days later...Be glad for the snow, making us stronger survivors in this world. Be Brave enough to stand up for WHO you are, WHO HE wanted and intended you to be and don't say sorry to anyone who challenges your charactor- only HE knows what battles you are fighting and what fires you blow out daily just to live in peace. Be reflective on your journey, Learning all the time, new ways to BE, LOVE and CHERISH.
Be peaceful all the time, be loving all the time-IF you speak your truth then you have done know wrong.
See you Soon Ruby you gentle and precious soul...See you soon to the soldiers who faught for US to be peaceful and free...and See you sometime- to all the angels watching over us, giving us hope, love and a gentle knowing that you are all there for us in each and every way ALWAYS..Good night to our soldiers who are still fighting, Sleep well to the ones who are fighting for their lives. IN this days reflection, I say Thank YOU!
Sunday, 9 November 2014
Fill the Void of Your Inner Rainbow
You see it all the time, and I use to be there and one of them too. When someone feels there is a void to be filled, he or she may TRY to fill that void using the only method they know how. There are many reasons one feels a little empty. Basically, they-He or She are off balance, something in their life may not be what they envisioned for themselves, maybe they have a crucial schedual to keep up with and the only down time would be to fill that feeling of unbalance until they're filled up. How long does that "quick fix" generally last though? Filling a void could be many things, it could be costly, IE: running to the quickest clothing apparel shop for what they call "Shop Therapy". That was my void filler, I had so many clothes for so many years, some with tags on and the clothes never worn. Every week, I would hit the shops and call it Shop Therapy for years. I don't do that anymore..I now have learned over time to LOOK WITHIN, find what will fill me up, either creatively, musically, socially, or other. It feels great at first when you fill that cup in a quick sense, the next day though-the void is still remaining.
Balance, how do we achieve a balance of health, social, rest/relaxation, fun and work to continue without having to chase a rainbow-Instead finding the rainbow within-with many pots of golds and treasures? Fill that void by looking within-rather then outside forces. Some people too, just feel a great need or desire to obtain the next great buy, or any other means to fill the emptiness inside. The trick of the quick fix leaves you right at square one. So with a balance, of health-eating right-excersise, spirituality/positivity, being social, resting and relaxation. Once those needs are filled-then we can begin to look within. Separate you needs from your wants; someone taught me that and I practiced it regularly. So instead of going out and buying the most fancy dress boots, I began to look at my strengths more and more, in order to develop my even flow of independence, positivity, spirituality, rest, fun etc. I didn't have to run to the closest store to get my fix.
In saying that, don't deny yourself little luxuries, we all like them and yes they are needed as well, but within that there is balance. One way to fill up, is to find out what your good or even great at! If you don't know, think again of your likes and dislikes-if you enjoy reading, singing, dancing-could be anything. Do that more and more often of the things you like-take time for yourself and allow yourself to do these "likes" and you will be filling yourself up with the colours of the rainbow!! If your are just NOT happy...in life, where you are, what your doing...Change it, step by step; allow yourself the freedom to choose what LIFE you want. If you are taking a course, or subject and you just feel miserable while trying to learn the ins and outs of that course...That can be changed too! Take something more you..maybe auto mechanics, anything that will make you want to JUMP out of bed to start the day. IF you are unhappy, own those feelings...accept it, you don't have to pick up and move to Idaho...Just start with knowing what is not working in your life-instead of fixing it with a new purchase, or anything else that is a void filler in your life.
There are so many things to do and be doing-that really don't cost an arm and a leg. It took me a while to realize I have more fun hiking through trails and taking pictures then I have when I buy some random item come home where it-spill something on it, tear it by mistake...just to go out and do it again. I use to wake up everyday, thinking...hmmm..what purchase can I make today...??? I did that for a very long time. Until again I learned about ME, what I liked to do, what made me happy and I chose day in and day out to be happy everyday. Sure there was work-it did not come overnight. Now, once my needs are met, health etc...With a proper balance, now I decide how I want to spend time. I had to be learn to be alone and like the feeling of me in my own space, in order to recharge on my own terms, without being caught in a void trap. Find out what your void is, what YOU REALLY WANT...think...:IS this brand new pair of boots etc...REALLY going to be the be all and end all to make my life complete"?? Then think-"What will make my life complete"? Once you have the balance down, simple pleasures come easily...your void is filled before you step out the door. You do wake up HAPPY ready to enjoy the pleasures and even challenges of the day.
If your caught in a spiral of life with no balance, no nurturing of thyself, no feelings-just going through the motions....Think to yourself...What do YOU really want..?? Is it that fancy car that will make yourself feel filled FOREVER...Is that Car or House going to make a happy home all the time or the car a happy commute all the time...?? Think of yourself as that Car or House, how would you maintain it to fill it up with love and care, with balance in order to be a happy home or car? Put as much love and devotion into yourself as you would your job/career, relationships, material items. It may take time, to fill the void on your own terms, with your likes while creating balance! Filling the void of your Inner Rainbow is MUCH, I will say it again MUCH more gratifying then going in circles chasing the pot of Gold-When there is a GOLD RUSH within each and every one of US within our heart of hearts, YES the POT of GOLD is filled with so many treasures, right within YOU...no outside force can create more JOY and long lasting happiness then knowing within there is a rainbow so big right inside of you.
Balance, how do we achieve a balance of health, social, rest/relaxation, fun and work to continue without having to chase a rainbow-Instead finding the rainbow within-with many pots of golds and treasures? Fill that void by looking within-rather then outside forces. Some people too, just feel a great need or desire to obtain the next great buy, or any other means to fill the emptiness inside. The trick of the quick fix leaves you right at square one. So with a balance, of health-eating right-excersise, spirituality/positivity, being social, resting and relaxation. Once those needs are filled-then we can begin to look within. Separate you needs from your wants; someone taught me that and I practiced it regularly. So instead of going out and buying the most fancy dress boots, I began to look at my strengths more and more, in order to develop my even flow of independence, positivity, spirituality, rest, fun etc. I didn't have to run to the closest store to get my fix.
In saying that, don't deny yourself little luxuries, we all like them and yes they are needed as well, but within that there is balance. One way to fill up, is to find out what your good or even great at! If you don't know, think again of your likes and dislikes-if you enjoy reading, singing, dancing-could be anything. Do that more and more often of the things you like-take time for yourself and allow yourself to do these "likes" and you will be filling yourself up with the colours of the rainbow!! If your are just NOT happy...in life, where you are, what your doing...Change it, step by step; allow yourself the freedom to choose what LIFE you want. If you are taking a course, or subject and you just feel miserable while trying to learn the ins and outs of that course...That can be changed too! Take something more you..maybe auto mechanics, anything that will make you want to JUMP out of bed to start the day. IF you are unhappy, own those feelings...accept it, you don't have to pick up and move to Idaho...Just start with knowing what is not working in your life-instead of fixing it with a new purchase, or anything else that is a void filler in your life.
There are so many things to do and be doing-that really don't cost an arm and a leg. It took me a while to realize I have more fun hiking through trails and taking pictures then I have when I buy some random item come home where it-spill something on it, tear it by mistake...just to go out and do it again. I use to wake up everyday, thinking...hmmm..what purchase can I make today...??? I did that for a very long time. Until again I learned about ME, what I liked to do, what made me happy and I chose day in and day out to be happy everyday. Sure there was work-it did not come overnight. Now, once my needs are met, health etc...With a proper balance, now I decide how I want to spend time. I had to be learn to be alone and like the feeling of me in my own space, in order to recharge on my own terms, without being caught in a void trap. Find out what your void is, what YOU REALLY WANT...think...:IS this brand new pair of boots etc...REALLY going to be the be all and end all to make my life complete"?? Then think-"What will make my life complete"? Once you have the balance down, simple pleasures come easily...your void is filled before you step out the door. You do wake up HAPPY ready to enjoy the pleasures and even challenges of the day.
If your caught in a spiral of life with no balance, no nurturing of thyself, no feelings-just going through the motions....Think to yourself...What do YOU really want..?? Is it that fancy car that will make yourself feel filled FOREVER...Is that Car or House going to make a happy home all the time or the car a happy commute all the time...?? Think of yourself as that Car or House, how would you maintain it to fill it up with love and care, with balance in order to be a happy home or car? Put as much love and devotion into yourself as you would your job/career, relationships, material items. It may take time, to fill the void on your own terms, with your likes while creating balance! Filling the void of your Inner Rainbow is MUCH, I will say it again MUCH more gratifying then going in circles chasing the pot of Gold-When there is a GOLD RUSH within each and every one of US within our heart of hearts, YES the POT of GOLD is filled with so many treasures, right within YOU...no outside force can create more JOY and long lasting happiness then knowing within there is a rainbow so big right inside of you.
Tuesday, 4 November 2014
WHY I CERTAINLY LOVE ME! ...A SELF LOVE LIST FOR SELF ESTEEM!
People often say, "Oh I had a great day, the weather is great" OR "I love my partner he/she is so wonderful" OR even "The World is such a great place" Etc, etc etc. Never do I hear anyone, not young or old saying so much as boo about themselves and why they LOVE THEMSELVES. I THOUGHT "Why not start a LIST naming every possibly thing you LOVE and ACCEPT about yourself FOR self esteem. People write Gratitude lists all the time. Loving yourself though and saying or speaking up about it, never comes easy...I CHALLENGE every Man, Woman, Teen, Child to write a few things they CERTAINLY LOVE about themselves everyday...! Believing and valuing yourself is a key ingredient to self love, acceptance and I believe over coming anything. SO I WILL START and why not? Please feel free to write on Facebook, Twitter or a piece of paper of WHY you LOVE YOU! IF you do it, then others too who may need self love will most likely DO IT TOO! I will do it everyday for Ten Days...and Challenge others to do the same and also every time they write their self love list, challenge someone or a couple people to follow in their self love challenge.
DAY 1
AHH, I love myself, because I have handled a lot of issues in my Life, head held high and with class.
AHH, I love myself because I tell people who I am, what I am about and set proper boundries so I nor others don't get hurt.
AHH, I love myself because I have a dream and am following IT!
AHH, I love myself because I truly believe I am good to people and care deeply about the ones I love.
AHH, I love myself because I am taking care of my health.
AHH, I love and adore myself because I am funny and comical.
AHH, I Love myself because I like to make people laugh and if/when I make a mistake I can quickly turn it into a laughable momment.
AHH, I love myself because if I have a goal, which I have many I tackle them by sifting through the wrong goals and chasing the real and more suitable goals.
AHH, I love myself because even when I hurt, I get up each day and try again.
AHH, I love myself because I believe I am a valued part of society.
AHH, I love myself because I am not who I was last year or years prior but more the way I always envisioned myself.
AHH I love myself because I am there when others need me.
LASTLY,
AHH, I love myself because I am aware of my strengths and my limitations and TRY to stay within those marks.
I challenge anyone, everyone...To write as many possible things a day as to why they LOVE themselves...We do it for gratitude and it helps us tremendously to do so, Why not give back to ourselves and see how we feel after doing this fun and easy CHALLENGE...Everyday will become easier...I believe anyone who chooses to do this, will in fact either LEARN to love themselves, or LOVE themselves that much more.
SIDE NOTE; after doing this challenge myself, I had an ache in my heart...HONESTLY, after doing this the pain is gone...I woke up being pregnant wondering what could it be...and was cautious-Now that I did this challenge it honestly.. vanished...so quickly. Hmm...Try the challenge it couldn't hurt...Share with whomever is in your circles So, they to have a voice and encouragement as to why it is OK to say what and why they love themselves...I will set out the challenge for a few people every day!...Try it out...FOR Self esteem, for the one's that don't seem to have a lot, the one's that hang their heads low, the one's that you may not know but go home crying at night. PASS IT ON!
DAY 1
AHH, I love myself, because I have handled a lot of issues in my Life, head held high and with class.
AHH, I love myself because I tell people who I am, what I am about and set proper boundries so I nor others don't get hurt.
AHH, I love myself because I have a dream and am following IT!
AHH, I love myself because I truly believe I am good to people and care deeply about the ones I love.
AHH, I love myself because I am taking care of my health.
AHH, I love and adore myself because I am funny and comical.
AHH, I Love myself because I like to make people laugh and if/when I make a mistake I can quickly turn it into a laughable momment.
AHH, I love myself because if I have a goal, which I have many I tackle them by sifting through the wrong goals and chasing the real and more suitable goals.
AHH, I love myself because even when I hurt, I get up each day and try again.
AHH, I love myself because I believe I am a valued part of society.
AHH, I love myself because I am not who I was last year or years prior but more the way I always envisioned myself.
AHH I love myself because I am there when others need me.
LASTLY,
AHH, I love myself because I am aware of my strengths and my limitations and TRY to stay within those marks.
I challenge anyone, everyone...To write as many possible things a day as to why they LOVE themselves...We do it for gratitude and it helps us tremendously to do so, Why not give back to ourselves and see how we feel after doing this fun and easy CHALLENGE...Everyday will become easier...I believe anyone who chooses to do this, will in fact either LEARN to love themselves, or LOVE themselves that much more.
SIDE NOTE; after doing this challenge myself, I had an ache in my heart...HONESTLY, after doing this the pain is gone...I woke up being pregnant wondering what could it be...and was cautious-Now that I did this challenge it honestly.. vanished...so quickly. Hmm...Try the challenge it couldn't hurt...Share with whomever is in your circles So, they to have a voice and encouragement as to why it is OK to say what and why they love themselves...I will set out the challenge for a few people every day!...Try it out...FOR Self esteem, for the one's that don't seem to have a lot, the one's that hang their heads low, the one's that you may not know but go home crying at night. PASS IT ON!
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
What Do You Choose To Thrive off of?
What you choose to thrive off of or in fact react to, says a lot about how your mental health will be for you now and in the future. Things happen, like they say "Take the good with the bad" How much bad are you willing to endure, until you put a stop to the nonsense and dramatics of life. You can choose to get right in there and go with wherever the drama flows. OR you can choose to ignore the complaints, the sabotaging, the looks of distaste and go merrily along. Not everyone are you going to agree with all the time, have the same likes, dislikes, moods, reasoning and way of handling and dealing with things. Not everyone are you going to like, not everyone is going to like you. Some people will like not one thing about you, while another person will go to all lengths for you because they do truly fancy you, who you are and what you are about.
What do you do if you are in one heck of a happy mood and someone leaves you with a bitter taste, not that you do not enjoy them or love them and like them even. The negativity that someone else carries can definatly leave you with that sour taste. You may still love them, want them to be happy. How you choose to react will leave them either in a place to turn around their negativity voices, or what one really has to do is to not react to that person. Don't give that person an audience. Choose to walk away. You may care still, but if the drama is causing havoc on your emotions, feelings of self love, if you find then you too are carrying around that toxicity then you really have to withdraw, "Smile and nod is what I always say, turn around walk away, don't let it upset you, enjoy your day"
I know in my Life I have had drama, who hasn't really? It took me to many years to conquer my upset emotions, my soap opera life, my heavy heart...Did anyone want to listen over and over...when the same thing would happen, then I would complain for months, never solving anything...My negativity was draining, I was attracting draining people as well, unhappy people. Sure I learned to rid myself of that meri-go-round, that was my choice, I was sick of the bantering, critisising, it really did leave me upset, in the middle of every little drama and wanting to bring others along with me-to my unhealthy state was to me "very selfish".
There are always going to be issues, problems, concerns, LIFE...None of that ever goes away. You either succumb to every battle going on within or with the outer part of your world. OR like I taught myself, overcome, over ride, rise above. You could be 14, or 44 or 74 if your still complaining about the things you have been complaining about since you were 14 doesn't leave much room for people or yourself let's say to grow. I call it muddled thinking. It is to me personally, a waist of my energy. It is not that I don't have upsetting times. I use to have them daily, everything was an upset and everything was boiling over and past the boiling point. No one wanted to listen for very long. They would much rather see me smiling then with a grimace or frown. No one wanted to hear how horrible everyday, every minute that I endured through out every second of my life. Hate begets hate.
So what do you do when someone is bantering on about toxicity that you want no part of. The best thing that I have said before is, and do from time to time-simply say "I don't care for that topic, I don't feel that way, Or simply and to the point-it is really hard on me if I speak or hear things upsetting". That is really the best way to go, then you will most likely not have to endure the fright of non essential emotion from that person. You set a boundary, you say what you are willing to talk about and not. OR another way, ignore, which I do very often...I tend to laugh it off with something so ridiculous, usually nothing to do with the topic at hand and say something very out of the ordinary, which also stops them in their tracks of misery. Someone will say, OH my goodness did you see that person saying or doing this or that, I tend to come back and say..."OH I had the best roast beef dinner last night, or Did you see the stars shining or OH I bought this great outfit to wear to such and such or even did you see the hockey game?"
Your feelings are yours, the way you think are of your own mind, how you hold yourself, what you say and do are all up to you.
I, bottom line have to choose to hear love, enjoy love, think love, create love, be love, enjoy others and every part of my day. If I do not choose, healing, love, empathy, consideration, gratitude, giving, LIFE, then I personally am putting my life and health at risk. As hard as it is, I have to enjoy the winter, enjoy the rain, enjoy the damp, enjoy the dark, learn to love something about each and every person I meet, OR I will not be healthy.
Unfair as it may seem, I have to put my mind of health first- This is life, I love it, I choose to love it and I can not let myself Choose To thrive off of others in any sort of negative way...OR I suffer, and the ones around me suffer. With mental illness comes healing and learning to heal over and over again- I Must respect that part of myself! With it it comes learning to allow myself to be happy and not dwell on the trivial things...With mental illness it is hard sometimes to conquer any day, to keep your head held high and above water...I taught myself to hold myself up and proudly. I know exactly how to be happy and grateful each and every single day without it being a struggle or burden.
So for me, I choose to thrive off of the Happy and Great and Wonderful instead of the sad, toxicity of a day, the drama of the world-even if merely on the News. Call it sensitive, My health relies heavily on my thoughts, beliefs and feelings. I choose to thrive off of love and then do my best to pour that love onto the ones I hold dear, so that love is overflowing in me, us and whomever chooses to love not hate, show kindness not cruelty and so on. My health is number ONE...without that, there would be nothing else and personally once again...I worked to hard to have a positive mindset to let anyone put a hole in my healthy way of being, reacting, settling and the way I choose to see the world, love the world, the people in it and myself. Mental health is very personal, upsetting, complicated and confusing. I choose to have my mental health in tact every day, every step from morning to night. That is my choosing, to see the world as I see it, so that I can live, be, breath healthy possibly able to lighten any dark situation...I have beaten my Illness, that to me is LOVE...For me a Healthy mind = simply a pure loving heart always.
What do you do if you are in one heck of a happy mood and someone leaves you with a bitter taste, not that you do not enjoy them or love them and like them even. The negativity that someone else carries can definatly leave you with that sour taste. You may still love them, want them to be happy. How you choose to react will leave them either in a place to turn around their negativity voices, or what one really has to do is to not react to that person. Don't give that person an audience. Choose to walk away. You may care still, but if the drama is causing havoc on your emotions, feelings of self love, if you find then you too are carrying around that toxicity then you really have to withdraw, "Smile and nod is what I always say, turn around walk away, don't let it upset you, enjoy your day"
I know in my Life I have had drama, who hasn't really? It took me to many years to conquer my upset emotions, my soap opera life, my heavy heart...Did anyone want to listen over and over...when the same thing would happen, then I would complain for months, never solving anything...My negativity was draining, I was attracting draining people as well, unhappy people. Sure I learned to rid myself of that meri-go-round, that was my choice, I was sick of the bantering, critisising, it really did leave me upset, in the middle of every little drama and wanting to bring others along with me-to my unhealthy state was to me "very selfish".
There are always going to be issues, problems, concerns, LIFE...None of that ever goes away. You either succumb to every battle going on within or with the outer part of your world. OR like I taught myself, overcome, over ride, rise above. You could be 14, or 44 or 74 if your still complaining about the things you have been complaining about since you were 14 doesn't leave much room for people or yourself let's say to grow. I call it muddled thinking. It is to me personally, a waist of my energy. It is not that I don't have upsetting times. I use to have them daily, everything was an upset and everything was boiling over and past the boiling point. No one wanted to listen for very long. They would much rather see me smiling then with a grimace or frown. No one wanted to hear how horrible everyday, every minute that I endured through out every second of my life. Hate begets hate.
So what do you do when someone is bantering on about toxicity that you want no part of. The best thing that I have said before is, and do from time to time-simply say "I don't care for that topic, I don't feel that way, Or simply and to the point-it is really hard on me if I speak or hear things upsetting". That is really the best way to go, then you will most likely not have to endure the fright of non essential emotion from that person. You set a boundary, you say what you are willing to talk about and not. OR another way, ignore, which I do very often...I tend to laugh it off with something so ridiculous, usually nothing to do with the topic at hand and say something very out of the ordinary, which also stops them in their tracks of misery. Someone will say, OH my goodness did you see that person saying or doing this or that, I tend to come back and say..."OH I had the best roast beef dinner last night, or Did you see the stars shining or OH I bought this great outfit to wear to such and such or even did you see the hockey game?"
Your feelings are yours, the way you think are of your own mind, how you hold yourself, what you say and do are all up to you.
I, bottom line have to choose to hear love, enjoy love, think love, create love, be love, enjoy others and every part of my day. If I do not choose, healing, love, empathy, consideration, gratitude, giving, LIFE, then I personally am putting my life and health at risk. As hard as it is, I have to enjoy the winter, enjoy the rain, enjoy the damp, enjoy the dark, learn to love something about each and every person I meet, OR I will not be healthy.
Unfair as it may seem, I have to put my mind of health first- This is life, I love it, I choose to love it and I can not let myself Choose To thrive off of others in any sort of negative way...OR I suffer, and the ones around me suffer. With mental illness comes healing and learning to heal over and over again- I Must respect that part of myself! With it it comes learning to allow myself to be happy and not dwell on the trivial things...With mental illness it is hard sometimes to conquer any day, to keep your head held high and above water...I taught myself to hold myself up and proudly. I know exactly how to be happy and grateful each and every single day without it being a struggle or burden.
So for me, I choose to thrive off of the Happy and Great and Wonderful instead of the sad, toxicity of a day, the drama of the world-even if merely on the News. Call it sensitive, My health relies heavily on my thoughts, beliefs and feelings. I choose to thrive off of love and then do my best to pour that love onto the ones I hold dear, so that love is overflowing in me, us and whomever chooses to love not hate, show kindness not cruelty and so on. My health is number ONE...without that, there would be nothing else and personally once again...I worked to hard to have a positive mindset to let anyone put a hole in my healthy way of being, reacting, settling and the way I choose to see the world, love the world, the people in it and myself. Mental health is very personal, upsetting, complicated and confusing. I choose to have my mental health in tact every day, every step from morning to night. That is my choosing, to see the world as I see it, so that I can live, be, breath healthy possibly able to lighten any dark situation...I have beaten my Illness, that to me is LOVE...For me a Healthy mind = simply a pure loving heart always.
Tuesday, 14 October 2014
Poem "Gossip Kills" -a form of bullying-
Poem
Tamara Thompson
Chimpmunka Publishing Author
"Gossip Kills"
-a form of bullying-
I sit in quiet and watch the crowd,
their voices becoming angry and for me way to loud.
I wait for the gossip to end,
snickering in corners, while I thought we were friends.
You may not know, but it hurts me so,
to be laughed at and taunted-"You think I don't know?"
Brushed aside for no reason, just a turn of the season.
I try to be kind, you just say "Never Mind!"
No one is perfect this I know for sure,
Gossip kills, comes back to YOU two fold.
You are opening the gate, for you too will be laughed at with hate.
It doesn't feel nice, to be picked a part you will see, you just wait.
When you are alone and no one seems to care,
that is when you know the burning of a nothers stare.
So please bite you toungue, this room is quite small,
I can hear everything you are saying, from this side of the wall.
How hard is it to be nice, say hello-How are you?
It makes a nicer day, not having to feel like a fool.
It washes off my back anyway, I know to whom I am adored.
For them I count my blessings, and believe in love forevermore.
Stop the gossip please, it is a silent killer with no sound,
Just one loud voice, shouting out loud.
How would you feel, to be pointed upon, and shunned aside,
It doesn't feel nice, Gossip is just a bunch of LIES.
So stop lying to yourself and others you like to tell,
Gossip will kill others silently, sorry to say, but you as well!
Tamara Thompson
Author
Poems of a Codependant
Happy Birthday Jack
Before You Were Born
www.chipmunkapublishing.co.uk
www.amazon.com www.amazon.ca
Friday, 3 October 2014
I am NOT crazy, I AM pregant!
Three years ago my husband and I decided to try to conceive. Nothing was working. Although it did bother me in many ways, I thought `well-this is what The Man ABOVE wants for us...NO kids`. My Husband an artist and illustrator and me a children's author and writer, I thought in all fairness to me, "Well, I guess I have the chance to work on my writing career and my husband and partner on his art adventures and career." I really never thought it was possible for kids. Although I wasn't going to go to all lengths to conceive, I thought to myself "I will be a great aunt to my Nephews and Nieces and be a great Wife to my partner, while working on my craft; writing and him his art pieces and illustrations". Sweet!
Now, fourteen books writen, Six published and Three on the way to being published; me being 38 and husband 42, with his art being sold in upcoming gala`s and events and selling his masterpieces.....I thought, "I will be happy with that" It was in the back of my mind, I must admit. I did feel cheated, thought about adoption and other options; though knowing I would never try any medical measures-to me it was nature and So Be It.
This past 2 years I was on a plight to health, harmony and happiness. I naturally lost 70lbs, no dieting-as I don`t partake or believe in any sort of dieting...just Health! I ate and drank only healthy drinks...with the odd 400 calarie intake of Hot Chocolate minus the whip cream. I took up dance and went to a latin inspired dance class twice a week. I was feeling GREAT! I got off my medication that was gaining the weight and causing havoc with my emotions. The pharmasist I went to was on my side...He called it ``My Little Experiment...! I got all my teeth fixed and polished and made sure they were all pearly whites. A once xl or 1x- I became a size small...and felt fabulous. I made sure I made ammends with any one I harmed in my life that I did not know or wasn't aware that I harmed. I made complete peace with my past and my LIFE as it was.
One day out of manic emotion I called a health supplement store, we talked and she told me and sent articles of her supplement that helps with fertility. I turned down the offer for her supplement as we began to talk, she said she could help me differently and wanted to call me and "TALK"...I said "Ok, you seem to know a lot...why not"? One night she spent two hours talking with me and praying, I thought "couldn't hurt to pray about this, and her prayers were LOUD and CLEAR" I let go of all hurts from the past, forgave anyone I harmed and forgave myself for any harm, I told her of my other life problems and we prayed about those too. Then on my birthday she took me out for tea and lunch. I felt at ease speaking to this lady and again we prayed. I am a positive person...but praying, although I believe works...My faith may not have been as strong as I thought.
After speaking to this lady, I continued with my life, still writing, striving, She told me that "miracles can happen..." So as easily as she said that, I BELIEVED in miracles right then and there. Also, in turn I began to believe in myself!
I was determined...I thought, I can do this, WE can make a Baby, with HIS help! I thought this is what we want and HE said we can have miracles in our Life! I made a Dr's appointment for something way different then about conceiving, I had stomach issues, My wonderful family Dr. sent me to have my very first ultra sound, being 38, he knew my history very well. As soon as I saw the Ultra Sound Technician I randomly asked how my reproductive system is, He said "FINE, NOTHING WRONG WITH IT"
"WOAH?, WHAT?" I thought, Wow really I have a fighting chance. Two months to the Day I am Now Two months Pregnant, with our VERY first child. Prayers answered, determination full force, belief in my self and the heavens all restored, forgiving my past and myself and others completely.
We had no clue until this year Sept 08th, We had no clue as we were moving boxes and moving into a bigger place Sept 1st-A house and out of our small 500 sq ft apartment, that was quite crammy. NOW, having an extra room that we can put to good use! My career swiftly moving along, My husbands career off and running as we still pationatly tackle all our creative endeavors. I am exactly today two months pregnant.
We went to the Ultra Sound this week, I was nervous, I never realized that once you find out you are pregnant you are given two seconds of elation and then now 7 more months of worry. Lucky, I have great friends and family to walk me through it and relinquish my worry. A great husband who has 4 sisters who have been through this before and a very supportive Mother, Father, In Laws and Neighbours.
We woman think about kids, want kids, feel the need and want to nurture. There were many things at play maybe working against me, my jitters, my anxiety, other areas I had to work on. NOW I KNOW...Even though I have a Mental Health issue, that does not mean I am not capable of being a wonderful MOM. I really thought in my heart of hearts that I didn't deserve a child in my life because I have Bipolar, even though I worked vigourasley on every issue at hand day in and out! I gave myself my own stereotype and stigmatised myself into thinking, I AM NOT WORTHY or GOOD enough to have a child of my own...
MIND over MATTER, my Father always taught me. I am healthy, wise, happy, more then content, have a wonderful partner, a Career I am proud of and now a belief in myself that I can have bipolar and be a perfectly FIT mother for Our baby, meant just for US...Bipolar or not, this baby is going to be LOVED, adored, nurtured, held, respected, given peace, I will teach him or her how to dance like I did with all my younger cousins and nieces and nephews. I can teach, guide and ``help`` mold, give advise when needed. While my husband can also, LOVE, adore, nurture, hold, respect, give light and peace, teach to colour and show his great skills of art and all things beautiful and colourful in the World. So Yes, I am not crazy but I am PREGNANT!
Now, fourteen books writen, Six published and Three on the way to being published; me being 38 and husband 42, with his art being sold in upcoming gala`s and events and selling his masterpieces.....I thought, "I will be happy with that" It was in the back of my mind, I must admit. I did feel cheated, thought about adoption and other options; though knowing I would never try any medical measures-to me it was nature and So Be It.
This past 2 years I was on a plight to health, harmony and happiness. I naturally lost 70lbs, no dieting-as I don`t partake or believe in any sort of dieting...just Health! I ate and drank only healthy drinks...with the odd 400 calarie intake of Hot Chocolate minus the whip cream. I took up dance and went to a latin inspired dance class twice a week. I was feeling GREAT! I got off my medication that was gaining the weight and causing havoc with my emotions. The pharmasist I went to was on my side...He called it ``My Little Experiment...! I got all my teeth fixed and polished and made sure they were all pearly whites. A once xl or 1x- I became a size small...and felt fabulous. I made sure I made ammends with any one I harmed in my life that I did not know or wasn't aware that I harmed. I made complete peace with my past and my LIFE as it was.
One day out of manic emotion I called a health supplement store, we talked and she told me and sent articles of her supplement that helps with fertility. I turned down the offer for her supplement as we began to talk, she said she could help me differently and wanted to call me and "TALK"...I said "Ok, you seem to know a lot...why not"? One night she spent two hours talking with me and praying, I thought "couldn't hurt to pray about this, and her prayers were LOUD and CLEAR" I let go of all hurts from the past, forgave anyone I harmed and forgave myself for any harm, I told her of my other life problems and we prayed about those too. Then on my birthday she took me out for tea and lunch. I felt at ease speaking to this lady and again we prayed. I am a positive person...but praying, although I believe works...My faith may not have been as strong as I thought.
After speaking to this lady, I continued with my life, still writing, striving, She told me that "miracles can happen..." So as easily as she said that, I BELIEVED in miracles right then and there. Also, in turn I began to believe in myself!
I was determined...I thought, I can do this, WE can make a Baby, with HIS help! I thought this is what we want and HE said we can have miracles in our Life! I made a Dr's appointment for something way different then about conceiving, I had stomach issues, My wonderful family Dr. sent me to have my very first ultra sound, being 38, he knew my history very well. As soon as I saw the Ultra Sound Technician I randomly asked how my reproductive system is, He said "FINE, NOTHING WRONG WITH IT"
"WOAH?, WHAT?" I thought, Wow really I have a fighting chance. Two months to the Day I am Now Two months Pregnant, with our VERY first child. Prayers answered, determination full force, belief in my self and the heavens all restored, forgiving my past and myself and others completely.
We had no clue until this year Sept 08th, We had no clue as we were moving boxes and moving into a bigger place Sept 1st-A house and out of our small 500 sq ft apartment, that was quite crammy. NOW, having an extra room that we can put to good use! My career swiftly moving along, My husbands career off and running as we still pationatly tackle all our creative endeavors. I am exactly today two months pregnant.
We went to the Ultra Sound this week, I was nervous, I never realized that once you find out you are pregnant you are given two seconds of elation and then now 7 more months of worry. Lucky, I have great friends and family to walk me through it and relinquish my worry. A great husband who has 4 sisters who have been through this before and a very supportive Mother, Father, In Laws and Neighbours.
We woman think about kids, want kids, feel the need and want to nurture. There were many things at play maybe working against me, my jitters, my anxiety, other areas I had to work on. NOW I KNOW...Even though I have a Mental Health issue, that does not mean I am not capable of being a wonderful MOM. I really thought in my heart of hearts that I didn't deserve a child in my life because I have Bipolar, even though I worked vigourasley on every issue at hand day in and out! I gave myself my own stereotype and stigmatised myself into thinking, I AM NOT WORTHY or GOOD enough to have a child of my own...
MIND over MATTER, my Father always taught me. I am healthy, wise, happy, more then content, have a wonderful partner, a Career I am proud of and now a belief in myself that I can have bipolar and be a perfectly FIT mother for Our baby, meant just for US...Bipolar or not, this baby is going to be LOVED, adored, nurtured, held, respected, given peace, I will teach him or her how to dance like I did with all my younger cousins and nieces and nephews. I can teach, guide and ``help`` mold, give advise when needed. While my husband can also, LOVE, adore, nurture, hold, respect, give light and peace, teach to colour and show his great skills of art and all things beautiful and colourful in the World. So Yes, I am not crazy but I am PREGNANT!
Monday, 15 September 2014
The Easy Reader Carole Matthews and My Journey For Health and Happiness
When I met Carole Matthews I was Twenty-Five and down and out. Down and out with my money matters, my heart, my hope just about everything seemed to be going downhill. I was about to move from City to Country with My Mother. She spoke to me about Carole Matthews, a Psychic Medium who spoke to angels or angels spoke to her. I was not a skeptic person at all, the state I was in, anything woud and could help. My Mother went to her and found her out of this world fantastic! She told me what was said about me in my Mothers reading and I truly wanted to meet this lady. My Mother as a nice gift, knowing also how much counseling I needed at the time booked me in to see her. I was so excited, I was new to the town of Meaford and needed guidance. At that time, I didn't know just how much she would mean to me as the years passed by.
The first time I saw her, I just failed out of two schools, was hospitalised twice, had no clue what I wanted career wise and thought this would be my life forever as confused as we all get sometimes. Carole shocked me in a good way. We lived only 10 minutes apart. I vowed after first meeting Carole whom I believed in whole heartedly; that I would see her every Six months along with my therapist. She is much more then a psychic medium, with that I mean, Carole does not just give you the goods and off you go, even if it is something crucial and tender that needs to be addressed she is able to deliver her conviction with such positive light, so that even if the prediction is somewhat not what you expected-you learn to get over any hump knowing that there is a bright side. She offers her positive SPIN on any situation to get you through whatever life throws your way. In that, her clairvoyancy becomes a tool and did for me for any upset or anything wonderful and magical. The first meeting she told me I was going to be in the nurturing field...I thought and spoke "I have a field"? I was so excited that my life and career attempts were not limited or over. She also said I would be in "freelance"...again I thought..hmm...Lady, you just gave me HOPE! I had no clue of what freelance was, I really didn't. I would not let Carole know that though. I came home that day with such hope and complete conviction...that I actually felt I was given a chance to make it! Then asked my Mom-What is Freelance??? and Nurturing...hmm???
I did make attempts to see Carole every six months. My readings were always invaluable and bang ON! Every time I would come home with something to look forward to. Wow, a future...so I went on my journey and became a PSW finishing my Nurses Aide programe. I was excited to become a PSW..later-I became an Aesthetician...still in the nurturing field and faired very well. Still not knowing what really type of freelance I would do??
So there I was years before a very lost soul, until I met Carole Matthews who really lit my spark. Later I learned what a freelancer was...and thought...hmm...I don't paint...maybe I become a photographer...?? In the end it was my writing that stood out.
With the illness I have or had...somedays are way better then others, now years go by and it is mostly unnoticed...and there are a lot of great days...she told me the past is behind me, so I believed her whole heartedly once again and as she says AND SO IT IS! Carole speaks gentle but frank and to the point, she knows what she is talking about and she lets you know that "HEY SHE JUST KNOWS...."!!
My recovery lays heavely on my spiritualism, I had a spiritual awakening just months after meeting Carole and that lifted my soul like nothing else, I began my journey of my own self healing and my own positivity train; again she lit a fire in me that just wouldn't stop blazing! Carole Matthews is witty, tasteful, on beat, fun, warm and well of course charismatic. I would move from area to area around southern Ontario, still believing from a far that my life would turn out and was, just as all of ours does in differing ways. All I knew was and SO IT IS. Carole taught me to believe in myself...there are so many memories that I have had with Carole that still sit with me and resides in how I live and have grown. From someone who was really frightened of the world, she told me that I would bloom one day, hey again...OK, I will bloom one day, yay!
Even if you are going through a rough patch...she puts such a twist of fate on things that you just think, oh well...there is a reason and I must still believe and keep preservering. Until you are really even grateful for the lifes curve balls and hiccups, you learn to love your challenges.
Carole Matthews means a lot to me..and many many people out there know that what I have writen is true to the C, she cares...truly...! She turned a once timmid, frowny, upset young girl into a happy go lucky, try try try...work work work...love love love, give give give...BE BE BE type of girl and I am so lucky to have spent some time with her, I along with, I know very many value her TRUTH more then I think she knows.
A one of a kind, psychic medium who will make you believe just because you CAN BELIEVE and WHY NOT!
Thanks C, you for me made grapes into wine, apples into cider and always lemons into lemonade.
You must check out her webpage and all things Carole Matthews at Carole Matthews Messenger Files...there you can get in touch with her if you please. Well worth everything!
http://carolematthewsintuitive.com/
The first time I saw her, I just failed out of two schools, was hospitalised twice, had no clue what I wanted career wise and thought this would be my life forever as confused as we all get sometimes. Carole shocked me in a good way. We lived only 10 minutes apart. I vowed after first meeting Carole whom I believed in whole heartedly; that I would see her every Six months along with my therapist. She is much more then a psychic medium, with that I mean, Carole does not just give you the goods and off you go, even if it is something crucial and tender that needs to be addressed she is able to deliver her conviction with such positive light, so that even if the prediction is somewhat not what you expected-you learn to get over any hump knowing that there is a bright side. She offers her positive SPIN on any situation to get you through whatever life throws your way. In that, her clairvoyancy becomes a tool and did for me for any upset or anything wonderful and magical. The first meeting she told me I was going to be in the nurturing field...I thought and spoke "I have a field"? I was so excited that my life and career attempts were not limited or over. She also said I would be in "freelance"...again I thought..hmm...Lady, you just gave me HOPE! I had no clue of what freelance was, I really didn't. I would not let Carole know that though. I came home that day with such hope and complete conviction...that I actually felt I was given a chance to make it! Then asked my Mom-What is Freelance??? and Nurturing...hmm???
I did make attempts to see Carole every six months. My readings were always invaluable and bang ON! Every time I would come home with something to look forward to. Wow, a future...so I went on my journey and became a PSW finishing my Nurses Aide programe. I was excited to become a PSW..later-I became an Aesthetician...still in the nurturing field and faired very well. Still not knowing what really type of freelance I would do??
So there I was years before a very lost soul, until I met Carole Matthews who really lit my spark. Later I learned what a freelancer was...and thought...hmm...I don't paint...maybe I become a photographer...?? In the end it was my writing that stood out.
With the illness I have or had...somedays are way better then others, now years go by and it is mostly unnoticed...and there are a lot of great days...she told me the past is behind me, so I believed her whole heartedly once again and as she says AND SO IT IS! Carole speaks gentle but frank and to the point, she knows what she is talking about and she lets you know that "HEY SHE JUST KNOWS...."!!
My recovery lays heavely on my spiritualism, I had a spiritual awakening just months after meeting Carole and that lifted my soul like nothing else, I began my journey of my own self healing and my own positivity train; again she lit a fire in me that just wouldn't stop blazing! Carole Matthews is witty, tasteful, on beat, fun, warm and well of course charismatic. I would move from area to area around southern Ontario, still believing from a far that my life would turn out and was, just as all of ours does in differing ways. All I knew was and SO IT IS. Carole taught me to believe in myself...there are so many memories that I have had with Carole that still sit with me and resides in how I live and have grown. From someone who was really frightened of the world, she told me that I would bloom one day, hey again...OK, I will bloom one day, yay!
Even if you are going through a rough patch...she puts such a twist of fate on things that you just think, oh well...there is a reason and I must still believe and keep preservering. Until you are really even grateful for the lifes curve balls and hiccups, you learn to love your challenges.
Carole Matthews means a lot to me..and many many people out there know that what I have writen is true to the C, she cares...truly...! She turned a once timmid, frowny, upset young girl into a happy go lucky, try try try...work work work...love love love, give give give...BE BE BE type of girl and I am so lucky to have spent some time with her, I along with, I know very many value her TRUTH more then I think she knows.
A one of a kind, psychic medium who will make you believe just because you CAN BELIEVE and WHY NOT!
Thanks C, you for me made grapes into wine, apples into cider and always lemons into lemonade.
You must check out her webpage and all things Carole Matthews at Carole Matthews Messenger Files...there you can get in touch with her if you please. Well worth everything!
http://carolematthewsintuitive.com/
Friday, 5 September 2014
Be a Babbling Idiot of Positivity!
Having a positive outlook takes discipline, time, patience, understanding and a great deal of dedication. If you are one that wants to learn how to be a positive person, with a positive outlook everyday; instead of perhaps someone that looks at the worse case scenarios or dark side of life. You must know it can be done and it is well worth it! With becoming someone who is truly positive, upbeat, happy; you must know you may go through some trials and tribulations to become a person of gratitude and may I say a person who has that total bliss factor! You will find that no matter what the circumstance in your life...everyday will become a valued gift to you and you will be bubbling over. I am exactly saying that if ready and willing to take on this positive feeling endeavor you will instantly begin to find the silver lining in every single situation with ease and grace and with whatever life throws your way.
People may wonder about you. I remember long ago when I was practising my techniques of bubbling happiness, people in my life did not understand that I was turning a new leaf. I was coming into my own and as they said to me "I don't want to be a babbling idiot". I thought...hmm...I feel great, I do not feel like an idiot, just feel pure and complete happiness for the first time in my life.
Whatever situation you are going through, whatever sickness, whatever tragedy-know that positive thinking yes sure may be overused as an ingrediant to happiness. I feel though it is the only way to get through so many of lifes challenges. Of course there are going to be days like we all have where you think-oh man how do I navigate through these dark waters? You must know that there is of course a reason and a bright side to any down fall and anything can be turned into a lemonade course of action, instead of bitter lemons.
I really had no choice in my life to change my thought patterns, sometimes I got others involved and they too felt a sense of relief others still love to challenge my happy thoughts. I often wonder how would I react to different situations that I see my friends and loved ones go through, would I be able to get up each day to go through whatever disaster they may be having. I wonder so many times "how do they do it".
For me, it was one special woman I often think about, I told her of my illness, that I had Bipolar and Anxiety. She said she to has a Mental Illness. I said "no way"! I was young and struggling in many ways. I said, "you seem so capable and able to handle so many things as she bartened where we worked together. I said to her "I am fighting everyday with my illness, what do I do to have a life and outlook and get over this illness like you"? She said surround yourself with POSITIVITY!!! She was only a few years older and I was in awwe of how easily she told me how she got out of her muttled illness and way of thinking. I asked then "how do I do that"? I never heard of such a thing, I was merely getting by and letting life roll right over me. She told me, read positive books, watch inspirational movies, be with people who are upbeat and positive themselves and stay away from anything negative. Then I thought to myself, WOW, I have so much work to do and believed her whole heartedly that if she can do it, get on with her life and away from her mental health struggles then I can too.
For Ten years I read every book that had the word Happiness on it, Positivity, LOVE, Self Care, Abundance, and Success. Of course the list goes on. I was not ever much of a television watcher, so I read so many books that helped me turn my thinking around. These books gave me confidense, an understanding of life, an understanding of myself and how I worked (what made me tick) what I needed to change and how to think clear with a good head on my shoulders. If I watched a movie or rented one at the local video store it would be one of triumph, inspiration or a comedy. I was lost prior to that with no clear thought or what I wanted to do with my life. Five years into my positivity self course, I was learning where I wanted to go, what life I wanted to create for myself, what people I would stay away from if I found them toxic to me and my well being. I had to not only think positivity but also take action and become a smile instead of a frown. So on I went, learning to laugh again, make people laugh again, I really did build some broad shoulders. Like I said with learning the Positve way, life may throw you little tests to see not only how bad you want what you want for your self, happiness and health, but how far you can go.
I trained myself, I stopped gossiping about others, that was my first thing-I can't stand it now, any amount of gossip I usually walk away until that type of conversation has passed. I learned to see the beauty surrounding me and how wonderful nature is. I had to learn to accept and love myself. If I screwed up I had to learn how to try again. Many people heard of me calling these lifes challenges "hiccups". I would go out with a friend and would tell them of a situation that I am dealing with that needs some assistance and told them it is a "hiccup" I am going through.
Where once I use to literally be physically sick before starting a new job because of my anxiety. My body was not in a state of happiness. I had to think healthy, look healthy, present myself healthy and heal. Until then, the anxiety would take me away and kick my ass over and over until I learned how to hold my head up, smile and stay true to my positive coming out nature!
I literally have now a huge handle on the Illness I have. I truly do wake up at sometimes 5 am and think, OOHH can't I wake up yet, I can't wait to start the day. Then think awwe it is too early, and I go back to bed not able to wait for the Sun to show it's glow. I had to watch my words, if it was a negative thought, I had to cancel that and redirect it to something positive. It became my past time. I was single and gave myself time to learn to live positive in a manner that was both spiritually uplifting and physically uplifting. My Spirituality is what saved me, over and over. I believe that my spirituality is what I hold most dear to my heart, without that-I wouldn't be me.
So now, a whole 13 years later, I thought and believed myself well! Took action where sometimes it took a lot of courage. Now I am really at the point where I don't have to think twice about where the silver lining is, it is there everyday in everyway.
So I will say, if you are going through a hard time-don't be afraid to pick up a book, magazine, read something online to help give you strength to be that Happy Positive being where you can shake anything that doesn't suit your vibe. Be that source of LOVE for yourself, enjoy the journey and smile through anything and everything...BE a babbling idiot everyday...and laugh your way towards your new defined self and appreciate every single thing in your life and about you and your loved ones. It is a great challenge with many hiccups but you deserve to rid yourself of any dis-ease with your POSITIVE attitude and yes, that is all you need to overcome any such thing!
People may wonder about you. I remember long ago when I was practising my techniques of bubbling happiness, people in my life did not understand that I was turning a new leaf. I was coming into my own and as they said to me "I don't want to be a babbling idiot". I thought...hmm...I feel great, I do not feel like an idiot, just feel pure and complete happiness for the first time in my life.
Whatever situation you are going through, whatever sickness, whatever tragedy-know that positive thinking yes sure may be overused as an ingrediant to happiness. I feel though it is the only way to get through so many of lifes challenges. Of course there are going to be days like we all have where you think-oh man how do I navigate through these dark waters? You must know that there is of course a reason and a bright side to any down fall and anything can be turned into a lemonade course of action, instead of bitter lemons.
I really had no choice in my life to change my thought patterns, sometimes I got others involved and they too felt a sense of relief others still love to challenge my happy thoughts. I often wonder how would I react to different situations that I see my friends and loved ones go through, would I be able to get up each day to go through whatever disaster they may be having. I wonder so many times "how do they do it".
For me, it was one special woman I often think about, I told her of my illness, that I had Bipolar and Anxiety. She said she to has a Mental Illness. I said "no way"! I was young and struggling in many ways. I said, "you seem so capable and able to handle so many things as she bartened where we worked together. I said to her "I am fighting everyday with my illness, what do I do to have a life and outlook and get over this illness like you"? She said surround yourself with POSITIVITY!!! She was only a few years older and I was in awwe of how easily she told me how she got out of her muttled illness and way of thinking. I asked then "how do I do that"? I never heard of such a thing, I was merely getting by and letting life roll right over me. She told me, read positive books, watch inspirational movies, be with people who are upbeat and positive themselves and stay away from anything negative. Then I thought to myself, WOW, I have so much work to do and believed her whole heartedly that if she can do it, get on with her life and away from her mental health struggles then I can too.
For Ten years I read every book that had the word Happiness on it, Positivity, LOVE, Self Care, Abundance, and Success. Of course the list goes on. I was not ever much of a television watcher, so I read so many books that helped me turn my thinking around. These books gave me confidense, an understanding of life, an understanding of myself and how I worked (what made me tick) what I needed to change and how to think clear with a good head on my shoulders. If I watched a movie or rented one at the local video store it would be one of triumph, inspiration or a comedy. I was lost prior to that with no clear thought or what I wanted to do with my life. Five years into my positivity self course, I was learning where I wanted to go, what life I wanted to create for myself, what people I would stay away from if I found them toxic to me and my well being. I had to not only think positivity but also take action and become a smile instead of a frown. So on I went, learning to laugh again, make people laugh again, I really did build some broad shoulders. Like I said with learning the Positve way, life may throw you little tests to see not only how bad you want what you want for your self, happiness and health, but how far you can go.
I trained myself, I stopped gossiping about others, that was my first thing-I can't stand it now, any amount of gossip I usually walk away until that type of conversation has passed. I learned to see the beauty surrounding me and how wonderful nature is. I had to learn to accept and love myself. If I screwed up I had to learn how to try again. Many people heard of me calling these lifes challenges "hiccups". I would go out with a friend and would tell them of a situation that I am dealing with that needs some assistance and told them it is a "hiccup" I am going through.
Where once I use to literally be physically sick before starting a new job because of my anxiety. My body was not in a state of happiness. I had to think healthy, look healthy, present myself healthy and heal. Until then, the anxiety would take me away and kick my ass over and over until I learned how to hold my head up, smile and stay true to my positive coming out nature!
I literally have now a huge handle on the Illness I have. I truly do wake up at sometimes 5 am and think, OOHH can't I wake up yet, I can't wait to start the day. Then think awwe it is too early, and I go back to bed not able to wait for the Sun to show it's glow. I had to watch my words, if it was a negative thought, I had to cancel that and redirect it to something positive. It became my past time. I was single and gave myself time to learn to live positive in a manner that was both spiritually uplifting and physically uplifting. My Spirituality is what saved me, over and over. I believe that my spirituality is what I hold most dear to my heart, without that-I wouldn't be me.
So now, a whole 13 years later, I thought and believed myself well! Took action where sometimes it took a lot of courage. Now I am really at the point where I don't have to think twice about where the silver lining is, it is there everyday in everyway.
So I will say, if you are going through a hard time-don't be afraid to pick up a book, magazine, read something online to help give you strength to be that Happy Positive being where you can shake anything that doesn't suit your vibe. Be that source of LOVE for yourself, enjoy the journey and smile through anything and everything...BE a babbling idiot everyday...and laugh your way towards your new defined self and appreciate every single thing in your life and about you and your loved ones. It is a great challenge with many hiccups but you deserve to rid yourself of any dis-ease with your POSITIVE attitude and yes, that is all you need to overcome any such thing!
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